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Even though there were regular events and countless concerts on O'ahu, especially during the summer months, it was still something different to fly to the mainland and have some fun. Kaia had tried to convince the singer's management to fly her to theHonolulu Sunfor an exclusive concert, but the request was denied. But that didn't stop Kaia from going to the next best thing. Los Angeles.
And since we had started to see each other regularly– on a friendship basis– she had invited me to come with her. I wanted to say no because I thought it was weird that she invited me... but after Lei's slow blink and the fact that he teased me about it all night, I had no choice but to accept.
Now that I was in the front row, with the crowd pressing against us from behind and us squeezed almost painfully against the metal grating, I knew why Lei had made fun of me. This was good. More than good. It made me forget what happened at home. I felt alive when the bass rattled through my body, and even my strained vocal chords reminded me that I had no reason to dwell on the past.
Kaia had joined me so we wouldn't lose each other in the raging crowd. Her enthusiastic screams in my ear made me pull out my phone to take a quick video. She could not sing, nor did the right words come out of her mouth, but it was all the more comforting to feel such naturalness around me.
Without looking at the screen, I sent it to Blake and Amo before returning my concentration to the stage. For almost three hours we defended the space right in front of the stage, enjoying the live music and the energy of the evening, before returning to the airport because all the men involved had agreed that a night in the hotel was out of the question.
Lei hadn't said so himself, but his look had spoken volumes when Kaia had discussed it with Amo.
My ears were still ringing as we boarded the plane and sat next to each other. By now, Kaia was privy to some of my problems because I had decided there was no point in building a friendship if she had no idea who she was dealing with. So I was not surprised when she used the flight time to talk to me about it.
"Have you heard anything from your parents? I mean, a little sign of life or something?"
I twisted my mouth. She should know the answer to that by now. "Of course not. Lei sees them regularly, but when the conversations turn to me, the baseline is always the same. I'm the chosen black sheep of the family. They don't even wonder where I disappeared to."
"You're their only child, aren't you?"
"Yes. But my father is as close to Alexander as he would to a son. I think he chose a side from the beginning of our relationship. And he's sticking to it."
"Somehow it seems to me that the greatest people are all screwed up when it comes to their parents."
In the course of our conversations, we had also talked about her family. About her violent mother, and her father who had put up with it for years. Kaden had also come up after I met him at theHonolulu Sunafter a girls' night out with his sister and wife.
"My parents were always there for me... at least until I took away the heir of their choice. After all, they have no other child to marry off."
It gave me a strange kind of satisfaction to see Kaia roll her eyes. She expressed very well what I was feeling by now. The whole thing was ridiculous. Nothing more. Except for the fact that she also pointed out where the problems in my family lay.
"But just because your parents were physically present doesn't mean they did a good job. Don't get me wrong, you can like them even if they were shitty to you. But that doesn't change the fact that it paints a pretty clear picture that no one is asking about you right now."
My father's words were clear. I should apologize if I hoped for forgiveness. But that was not an option for me. Not because I was unnecessarily stubborn, or because I thought I was always right. For one thing, I still didn't know how to give them an explanation that would make everything go away, and for another, I certainly wasn't going to apologize to my ex-fiancé for being verbally abused. Not only that, but he had judged me when he himself was not averse to the more forbidden side of his sex life. This was after years of him insisting that the missionary position and ten minutes to the hour were the recipe for a happy relationship.
Finally, I lifted my shoulders. "You know, Kaia, one day I'm sure things will change again. Then I'll find a way to make him understand that not everything is the way he thinks it is. But until then, I need a little more time."
Time to come to terms with myself and build a foundation that would not be easily shaken. I needed an anchor. A lifeline. So that next time I wouldn't have to face him beaten, without the ability to stand up for myself. If I was going to fight, I had to make sure I could win. Anything else was unacceptable– I had already learned that.
Kaia nodded. "You'll get through this. And until then, spend as much time with us as you want. We're your boot camp. We'll teach you that you're not a freak. If anything, it's the world out there."
At least she made me laugh, which was good. Because I really needed a boot camp like this.
Lei
So this is where you work?" Audrey entered my office with her arms crossed, looking around as if I had just put her in the nearest broom closet and tried to sell it to her as a five-star luxury hotel room. Still, the look on her face amused me more than it should have.
"Mostly," I grumbled, raising an eyebrow as I watched her walk further into the room, turning in circles and finally heading for one of the shelves where I had placed some personal items. Behind the desk was a huge glass wall that overlooked Waikiki Beach.
She ran her fingers along the shelf, looking closely at each compartment before taking a step away and turning her attention to the hanging artwork instead, before walking over to my desk and looking at the stack of files piled up there.
The way she inspected everything made me a little nervous. Why was she looking so closely? She would not be here very often.
Finally, she turned to me, her hands clasped behind her back. "Do you know that an office says a lot about the person who uses it?"
Then she told me the reason for her inspection. "Oh yeah? And what does my office say about the person I am?"
"That you usually spend a lot more time here than in your apartment. That's just an example, of course."
An example that implied something. We kept up the facade.Fakedates were still in vogue. So far, no stumbling blocks had come our way, and obviously we could both claim to be having a good time.
