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CHAPTERONE
On the otherside of the door was my father.
On the other side of the door was my mortal enemy, who’d kidnapped my dad.
Opening the door could end me. Not opening could end him.
I had a choice, and I’d already made my decision. Opening the door was a no-brainer.
But first, I had to protect the people who had fought to protect me.
My life had been a hell of a lot easier when I was just an over-the-hill actress in her forties, trying to make a comeback.
I took a hesitant step toward the door, assessing my options.
“Wait,” Stella hissed, getting to her feet. The Demon might’ve been a crappy actress with entirely too much Botox and giant knockers that doubled as weapons, but in the short time we’d been together, she had become one of my most trusted nearest and dearest.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
She brushed herself off, then closed her eyes for a moment and wiggled her hips. “I sense six flaming assholes in there, not counting the shitty whore, Pandora, and your father.”
“Is Pandora stupid?”I asked my small posse telepathically. Since they’d pledged their loyalty to me as their new Demon goddess—a title I’d very reluctantly accepted, I could talk with them in their minds. It was incredibly handy. As to the matter at hand… Pandora had obviously watched the smackdown we’d had with her assassins a short and bloody time ago. A smart Demon would have reinforced the troops. Not to mention, she knew we were right outside of her door. The whirring of the cameras was loud.
“That’s a given,” Jonny, who was turning out not to be an idiot, whispered. “Her power and ego know no bounds. Las Vegas and the greater state of Nevada are her territories. She feels almighty here.”
“Aesop,” Moon Sunny Swartz said.
It was an odd non sequitur. I glanced over at her in confusion. Moon was an excellent weapon of mass confusion.
“He was a Greek storyteller,” she explained.
“I know that,”I said.“Is there a reason you brought him up?”
“Fabulous guy,” Corny, who was thankfully no longer naked, commented with a nod. Granted he could fly easier while in the buff, but seeing his wrinkled junk had been gag inducing. “Great drinking buddy.”
I was reminded again of how long the company I was keeping had lived. I pushed the hard-to-imagine concept away and focused on Moon.“What about Aesop?”
“He said, the smaller the mind, the greater the conceit.”
Irma, no longer in her shifted mouse form, added her two cents. “He also stated, conceit may bring about one’s own downfall.”
“Sage words,” Stella approved, patting both Irma and Moon on their backs. “I’d like to take a vote.”
What the heck was happening here? We had a mission to accomplish.“Vote?”I asked in a stressed tone.
“Yes,” she said. “I vote that we call our movie,Aesop’s Badass Demons Kick the Shitty Whore’s Ass.”
It was kind of useless at this point to remind them this wasn’t a movie. It was unscripted reality. But they were actors, albeit fairly talent-free. If pretending this was a movie helped them cope with the dangerous situation, I was all for it.
I winced.“Umm… that’s a really long title.”
“How aboutAesop’s Assholes?” Jonny suggested. “The alliteration is nice, and the bitch Goddess Cecily is pulling the plot out of her ass.”
“Oscar-worthy,” Corny announced. “I love it.”
I blew out a frustrated raspberry.“Fine. Aesop’s Assholes for the win. Happy?”
“Very,” Irma said. “Way better to star inAesop’s Assholesthan be the spokeswoman for vaginal itch cream.” She gave Moon the stink eye and a middle finger salute.
