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It wasn’t unreasonable. Closing my eyes, I tried to make sense of the tsunami brewing in my brain. Not possible. “Not sure where to begin.”
“Speak from your heart, Cecily-boo,” Man-mom suggested.
“Oh yes, darling!” Uncle Joe agreed. “Speak from the heart to be heard.”
“William W. Purkey,” I said, noting the author of the quote.
My dead, semi-transparent and buck-naked uncle gave me a thumbs up then struck a John Travolta dance pose fromSaturday Night Fever. It was so wrong it was right—just like my title, Bitch Goddess Cecily.
“Okay, fine. From the heart… I’d like to begin with the fact I’m freaking terrified. I don’t want to live in the Darkness. I like my house. I like my life and my friends. Killing people isn’t my forte, and I’m sure I’d suck at it if it was on the daily agenda. Unfortunately, I’ve done a lot of permanent head removal lately, and it worries me that I don’t feel shitty about it. Granted, I eliminated flaming assholes who were trying to end me, but something sits kind of wonky with me about that.” I sucked in a deep breath and kept going. “Sitting on a big fiery throne in the Darkness sounds painful. Even though I have dark hair, I sunburn easily. Plus, the only time I’ve been to the Darkness, I was sure I was on a drug trip.”
Once I got going, my word vomit wouldn’t stop. The sunburn thing was kind of lame, but whatever. Making sense wasn’t happening. Abaddon had said there were no stupid questions. I hoped that applied to statements as well.
Standing up, I began to pace. “I never went to regular school because of the TV show. I wasn’t on the Student Council, so I lack governing and people skills.”
“Umm…” Lilith’s eyes were large and she appeared confused.
“I’ve never even had a pet,” I interrupted. “So I think putting me in charge of a bunch of Demons would be an enormous mistake. Also, I’m not remotely religious so I would think that’s a strike against me as well. What I really want to do is star in a TV show, bang Abaddon after the appropriate amount of dating and possibly get a kitten.” I slapped myself in the head. “Actually, I’m not sure where that came from. I don’t want a cat. And I really don’t want to be the Bitch Goddess Cecily.”
“Cats are lovely animals,” Uncle Joe announced. He was on the floor doing yoga. The visual was bad.
“But youdowant to bang Abaddon?” the man in question inquired with a grin that made my knees weak.
“Fuck. I said that out loud?”
“Yep,” Sean replied with a laugh as he tossed me a baggy filled with gummies. “You’re killin’ it, sis. Try the orange one. It’s mild and might calm you down.”
I did as he suggested and chewed up the orange gummy. It couldn’t get much worse. I’d already announced to my parents that I wanted to get sweaty and intimate with the Demon known as the Destroyer. “I would surmise after my unhinged monologue that none of you would want me to take over Lilith’s job.”
“May I speak now?” Lilith asked with a slight wince and a crooked smile.
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and nodded.
“Okay. First, that was a lot,” Lilith said, trying and failing to suppress her grin. “Second, let’s go over it point-by-point and address your concerns.”
“Oh my God,” I muttered, hoping the gummy kicked in quickly. I wasn’t even sure what I’d said.
My mom continued. “It’s smart to be scared. Means you have a healthy sense of self-preservation, something you need in this job.”
I squinted at her. “I think you might be reaching.”
“Stay with me,” she said with a chuckle. “Being a Goddess is your birthright. What you need to be a Goddess is already inside you. You’ve proved it multiple times already. Even when you were scared, you refused to back down when Abaddon was in danger. You stopped Fifi from nuking Corny. You saved your father without a thought for your own safety.”
“Those are people I care about.”
“You made sure that Irma, Stella, Moon, Corny and Jonny didn’t get killed by Pandora—you protected them,” she reminded me. “You didn’t like them at all.”
She kind of had a point there, but anyone with a shred of decency would have done the same. Plus, I liked them now.
“Parents don’t always see their kids in a rational light,” I pointed out. “Rose colored glasses and all…”
She ignored my comment and kept addressing my concerns. “You don’t have to live in the Darkness. Very few actually reside in the Darkness.”
“Wait,” I said, perplexed. “You don’t have a castle and a moat and all that kind of stuff?”
“Actually, she does,” Dagon said.
Lilith shot him a stern glance. “I have a large home in the Darkness because grandeur makes my people feel more secure. Most of the time I reside in the safehouse you visited.”
