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“Bullshit and fiction,” Cher grunted as she entered the house with a wine cooler in each hand. “Angels are some of the worst sons of bitches I know. And I shouldknow.”
My inebriated and overly made-up agent was an Angel. A fact I’d learned recently when she removed her shirt and downy white wings burst from her back. To say it was alarming would have been an understatement. However, she’d saved the day. Green lipliner or no, Cher usually saved the day.
“What are we yacking about?” Cher asked, taking the bag of gummies out of Sean’s hand and putting them in her bottomless purse.
“We’re discussing how crappy I’ll be as the Bitch Goddess Cecily,” I told her as she plopped down next to my dad.
“You’re more than qualified, oh, Favorite Client of Mine. How about I show these people how you can fly?” she asked, pulling a laptop out of her bag.
“How about no?” I said quickly, grabbing the laptop and tucking it under my ass. I’d destroy it later. Knowing Cher, she had a backup, but I’d deal with that too. I didn’t need anyone in the room to see my twenty-year-old self getting humiliated on camera for a kid’s show I didn’t even book.
“Alrighty then,” Lilith said, getting back on track. “As to your other concerns, organized religion is the doing of humans. There have been more wars fought over religion than you can shake a stick at. It’s an oxymoron, and it doesn’t concern us. Heaven and Hell are more abstract than real. We refer to it as the Darkness and the Light. But honestly, all of it is gray. There’s very little in the Universe that’s black and white.”
“True that,” Cher said, pulling a twelve-pack of wine coolers out of her bag and setting them on the coffee table. “Drink up, people.”
“It’s the middle of the day,” I pointed out.
“Five o’clock somewhere,” she shot back with a cackle as she popped the top on a bottle.
My mom, always polite, took a wine cooler and joined Cher. “As to what you want to do with your time, you can do the TV show. Being a Goddess doesn’t preclude you from having a life. There will have to be more protection because Pandora’s still at large, but I think it’s a grand idea to follow your dreams. Most choices we make are the right ones if we’re doing them from a place of passion or love. Also, cats are lovely and complicated creatures. I believe you’d do well with a cat. I know just the one for you. As to the rest…” She gestured between Abaddon and me. “You’ll have to work that one out with each other.”
“Way to dodge, Lilith,” Sean said, holding up his hand.
My mother did not leave him hanging. She slapped the offered high-five and laughed. “Thank you, Sean.”
If you can’t beat them, join them. I grabbed a wine cooler and slugged back a gulp. “Okay, you’ve addressed my unhinged diatribe. Now I want to know what I have to do if I take the job.”
“It’s not a matter of accepting it or declining it,” Lilith said. “It’s already yours. You were born into it.”
I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “What if I fail?”
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly,” Man-mom said.
I couldn’t believe we were playing the quote game, but at the same time, it was perfect. “Robert F. Kennedy.”
“Bingo,” Man-mom said. “What have you got?”
I smiled. I knew what the old man was doing, and I was going to dive right in. “The greater the obstacle, the more glory overcoming it.”
“Moliere,” Sean said, pumping his fists over his head. “Try this one on for size… Our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change.”
“Martin Luther King Jr.,” I replied, feeling less terrified than I had a half hour ago. “I can do this!”
“Yes you can, mother humper,” Cher announced, raising her bottle high.
I laughed. It was better than mother f-er.
Lilith put her wine cooler down and took my hands in hers. “The goal is peace. The obstacles will be many. Demons can be a violent species. However, they want to live in harmony like any other being. To help them accomplish that, you must accept change. You must seek support and focus on the goal not the obstacles. Embrace your failures as much as you celebrate your wins. Most importantly, you must be as compassionate with yourself as you are with others and stay humble. Pride is the sin that destroys.”
“More specific directions would be nice,” I said. “You know like examples.”
Lilith laughed and kissed my cheek. “One step at a time, darling child. Deal with what’s in front of you and always make your decisions with forethought and compassion. You did it not even ten minutes ago.”
I looked at her in surprise. “I did?”
“You did,” she confirmed with a naughty smile. “I was exceedingly proud of you that you didn’t decapitate Moon after hearing the ingredients in Tater-tot Casserole.”
I wasn’t sure if it was because the gummy had kicked in or if it was my mom’s wildly irreverent sense of humor, but I laughed. Hard. For five minutes.
