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I blew a raspberry. “Why didn’t you tell on her?” My back was to the room, but I felt all eyes on me. Ignored everyone else as I turned to face my mom. “Why didn’t the Higher Power do something about that? If it was meant for both of you, why didn’t the thing in charge make it right?”
Lilith, perplexed by my questions, answered with silence.
Abaddon shook his head. “While logical, that’s not how it works. The gifts are given. How we deal with them is on us.”
“I call bullshit on that,” I muttered.
“Bitch Goddess Cecily,” Dagon said. “With all due respect, Lilith refused to fight in order to avoid Armageddon.”
“Isn’t that from the Bible?” I asked. My knowledge of religion was limited, however, even I knew that Armageddon was biblical. “Is the Bible an accurate history?”
“That fucking part of the book is accurate for the most part,” Cher chimed in. “Always tickles me pink that the Four Horsemen are drag queens.”
I was pretty sure that wasn’t in the Bible, but what did I know? Nothing, apparently. Even though my curiosity was piqued, I decided to stick to the Tome of Dark Magic instead of the Bible. I was a Demon, after all.
Honestly, I couldn’t believe how all these people lived as long as they had. It seemed the modus operandi was to trust some invisible meanie aka the Higher Power. This gray blob who embodied danger, love and wickedness. Some jackhole who’d thought it was smart to give the deranged woman a bunch of evil in a freaking box and let her steal the sacred book. And to the nice Goddess the blob gave some words that made very little sense. Pressing the bridge of my nose, I decided to be logical. I’d think of it as a one-hour drama. By the end of the episode, we needed to solve the case and put the bad guy—or woman—behind bars.
“Corny,” I said, pointing at him. “Have you seen the book?”
He nodded. His expression looked like he had sucked the juice out of an entire a bag of lemons while constipated.
I wasn’t done. If he puked on the floor, he was cleaning it up. “Do you know where it is?”
“Many moons ago, I saw it in the Darkness. In Pandora’s palace,” he whispered.
Corny and crew hadn’t been loyal to Pandora in centuries. The chances of the book still being there were slim, but it was the only lead we had in the maddening puzzle. I glanced over at Abaddon and Dagon. “Is it possible to get in there and steal it?”
Abaddon’s head fell back, and he stared at the ceiling. Dagon stared at the floor.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m in charge. Right?”
“Darn f-ing tootin’,” Cher agreed.
“As I see it, if the skanky bitch isn’t caught, we’re all in danger—especially Lilith. Pandora takes no issue with killing humans, even though it’s technically off-limits for Demons. Her goal will be to destroy me without killing me.” Of course, killing my mom had been off-limits as well, but that hadn’t stopped her. “Maybe. She might be so unhinged at this point she won’t care about the rules set by the gray blob.”
“Who?” Ophelia asked, confused.
“My bad,” I said. I finger quoted my next words. “The Higher Power.”
“Jesus Herman Christ,” Cher choked out. She pulled out the bag of pot gummies she’d pilfered from Sean and popped a few. “I’m going to suggest you refrain from calling it the blob.”
“Noted,” I replied, moving on. “I need Candy Vargo’s number. I want updates on the search for Pandora. The next item on the agenda is that I want Lilith, Man-mom and Sean to go to the safehouse. I need them out of harm’s way. I want full protection there to guard them. I can’t do what I need to do if I’m constantly worried about their safety.”
“As you wish, Bitch Goddess Cecily,” Dagon said.
“I know you have a lot of supernatural crap happening right now, Sis, so I feel like a shit asking this, but are we or are we not doing the TV show?” Sean asked.
I had to mull that one over for a sec. If I was going to die, I was going down doing something I loved. “Are,” I confirmed. “You can zoom with the writer’s room and we’ll talk every day. I have no clue why we’re doing that show considering what’s going on, but my gut says yes. I’m following my gut.”
He gave me a two-finger salute. “Works for me.”
Lilith didn’t look as certain. “You need me and my knowledge. I should be here with you.”
“I don’t disagree,” I told her. “But I also need you alive. You already died in my arms once. Not sure I’d live through a repeat. Besides, that’s what phones are for. You can drop any knowledge I might need in a text message. Besides, any of the Demons guarding the safehouse can relay messages to me if, for some reason, the phones don’t work.”
“Lilith, Cecily is right,” Man-mom said, taking her hands and pressing his forehead against hers. “If our daughter is worried about our safety, it could mean she disregards her own. That’s a hard no for me. We’re all aware that Cecily will go to the ends of the earth for those she loves.”
My mom kissed my dad sweetly on the lips, then turned to me. “It’s a little difficult not being in charge,” she said with a small laugh. “But you’re correct… Bitch Goddess Cecily.” She shook her head and smiled at my Goddess name.
