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Jonny came sprinting out of the dressing room, minus the puke pants. He’d morphed into a monster over eight feet tall complete with claws and fangs. It was a chilling look, and he wore it well.
He also wasn’t fucking around.
When he opened his jaw, it appeared unhinged like something out of a zombie movie. It was insane and gave the flaming assholes pause.
Sushi the Succubus, no shrinking violet, walked front and center, wearing a white tux and patent leather red shoes. Her razor-sharp fangs were extended, and she looked the flaming assholes up and down like they were pieces of meat, and she was going to a barbecue. I had no clue if she was about to break her nine-hundred-year celibacy streak, but the threat was there.
Corny Crackers was naked and holding knitting needles. If I hadn’t seen him behead flaming assholes with his hobby utensils, I would have been concerned. I wasn’t. He was a master with his wool tools. Moon was still humping the couch which almost sent Pandora over the edge. However, my horny buddy now had an enchanted sword in each hand compliments of Fifi. It was a disturbing picture, but it was what it was. Moon was nuts, but she was mine. I’d defend her till the death.
But they weren’t the last of my crew…
With a shriek so high pitched I was sure I’d burst an eardrum, Irma Stoutwagon joined the posse. She reminded me of a rabid Tasmanian Devil on crack… or maybe a pissed off honey badger on a week-long cocaine bender. She was out of control.
Everyone took a wary step back except Candy Vargo. Candy was the OG of badasses. The Keeper of Fate didn’t morph into anything. She wasn’t glowing. She had no weapon in her hand. Candy simply crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Pandora. As nutty as it seemed, she was the scariest Immortal in the room. Her confidence was killer. Pandora studiously avoided eye contact with her.
“No one makes fun at my expense,” Pandora bellowed as spittle flew from her lips.
I heard the whir of the camera and realized we were still being live-streamed. Bean hadn’t turned off the camera. I was going to turn that happy accident into a win.
“And no one kills the Goddess Lilith and gets away with it,” I shot back.
“I didn’t kill the bitch,” Pandora screamed. “You have no proof.”
Cher laughed. Sushi laughed. Abaddon didn’t move a muscle. The rest of my people laughed along. They had no clue why they were laughing, but it made the situation at hand more ominous.
“Stop it,” Pandora shrieked. “NOW.”
“You want proof?” I ground out. “I’ll give you and the Demon world proof.”
Silently and with no fanfare, Candy Vargo, Abaddon and Fifi surrounded me for protection. Without a moment to lose, I closed my eyes and projected the demise of my mother by Pandora’s hand. The shitty whore was speechless as the holograms played out in front of her… and all of her people tuning into the Demon Network. I hated that Man-mom and Lilith were watching, but that was beyond my control. I could only hope they would turn off the feed.
Pandora could no longer refute that she’d thrown the massive fireball that had ended the Goddess Lilith’s Immortal life. Her flaming assholes grew uncomfortable and began to mutter amongst themselves. It was looking less and less like hand-to-hand combat was going to occur. That was a plus. Losing any of my friends because they were fighting my battles would devastate me.
“Attack,” Pandora commanded. “Kill them.”
Her flunkies didn’t move.
“I am your GODDESS,” she screamed. “Do my bidding, or you will die.”
They stood motionless. The flaming assholes were still dangerous, but their leader had screwed them over. I wasn’t sure if she was in more danger from them or if we were. One by one, they morphed back into a human-looking form. One by one, they turned their back on her as if to shun her existence. Her shriek of fury shook the building at its foundation. Pandora’s eyes turned black, and a haze of pure evil swirled around her. It was difficult to breathe. I took short shallow breaths so I didn’t pass out. The depraved Goddess raised her hands over her head and created a massive fireball. As she threw it at the men she considered traitors, Candy Vargo flicked her pinky finger and dropped a shield around them. The fireball hit the barrier with a thunderous explosion, then the blast flew back at Pandora. She screamed in agony as her viciousness backfired.
Note to self—never ever get on Candy Vargo’s bad side.
As Pandora rolled around on the floor, trying to douse the flames, her eyes darted wildly around the set like a cornered animal. Her body convulsed as if she was having a seizure. It was difficult to feel compassion for the vile woman, but a small part of me did. It was clear her power was depleted. She’d have put out the flames and transported away if she’d had any real strength left.
If the Higher Power had truly put the box inside her, her heinous behaviors were the result of that one tragic action. While it couldn’t excuse what she’d done over the millions of years she’d been alive, it was a piece of the catastrophic puzzle that had shaped her.
There needed to be two Goddesses of the Darkness to keep the balance. I was one and, sadly, she was the other. Letting her die wasn’t on the table. Retracting my swords, I waved my hands and doused the flames. Part of me wanted to watch her burn for her sins, but a bigger part of me couldn’t let it happen. Instead, I made the compassionate choice.
Slowly, I walked to her. I held up my hand when Abaddon and Candy Vargo tried to interfere. “I’ve got this.”
I could hear the tension in Abaddon’s voice. “As you wish.”
“Fuckin’ badass,” Candy Vargo said. “Real deal.”
I wanted to prove her correct. I would prove her correct.
Pandora lay in a pathetic heap on the cold cement floor. When she noticed my approach, she tried to crawl away.
