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Stifling a laugh, I bury my face in his side. When he hangs up, I kiss him on the lips. “That’s quite a combination.”
“I can’t resist pancakes. Just like I can’t resist you.” He rolls me on top of him and squeezes my butt. “What’s your schedule today? Want to do something fun, like, I dunno, go to a ranch or something?”
“I’m scheduled to leave for Las Vegas at noon.” I spare Max the boring details of how I’m supposed to review reports from various departments today. I figured it would be easier to do that in Las Vegas, where a veritable circus awaits. It’s only the second Grand Prix in that city, and there’s an entire week of festivities scheduled before the race in six days.
“In that case, I’ll go to Vegas too. We could have dinner tonight or see a show. Maybe one of those magicians.”
I shift so I’m sitting up, and hold the sheet over my bare chest. My stomach tightens. “Max, I don’t know if that’s a good idea, going to dinner in public together. The last thing I want is more rumors, more tabloid stories, more questions from the press. And I definitely don’t want to worry Papa.”
He scowls. “It wouldn’t be that strange for the team owner and the driver to eat together.”
“But to see a show together?” My conversation with Tanya and that fake date with the beer guy comes to mind. Ugh. “That might be a little much, don’t you think?”
“You think we should sneak around, like we’re doing something wrong?” His blue eyes are unwavering and icy. “Maybe we should be straight with your father. Maybe if I had a man-to-man conversation with him, he’d be fine.”
I open my mouth then close it, wondering how this cozy morning took a wrong turn. His suggestion of a “man-to-man” talk with my father also irks me.
“Wearedoing something wrong. I’m your boss. I promised my father there would be no scandals. After what I went through with the game company, all I want is to be viewed as a competent temporary placeholder for my father. That’s the best I can hope for. You know as well as I do that if this got out I’d be raked over the coals because I’m a woman, and you’d be celebrated as some kind of virile hero.”
“Fine. And afterward? Will you still feel ashamed to be seen with me?” This conversation has gone from zero to bitchy in no time.
I rear back, shocked at the bitterness in his tone. I’m also surprised he’s planning a future for us. “I don’t know what to say to that, Max.”
He lets out a sigh. “I guess I’m wondering when you’re going to run, like you did before. Will you wait until the season end?”
“Excuse me?” The hair stands up on the back of my neck, like I’m a cornered and annoyed cat. “I had reasons for breaking things off before.”
“Flimsy reasons.” He climbs out of bed and tugs on a pair of black boxer briefs. They highlight his perfect, taut ass, which only somehow annoys me in this moment.
“Excuse me for not being as willing or capable of dealing with the press as you are.” I slide out of bed and stomp to my open suitcase in the corner, which is exploding with clothes. I pluck a robe out of the mess and put it on.
“Did you ever once think about how the breakup affected me?” He pulls back the thick curtain and stares out the window. The morning sunshine makes his hair look like spun gold.
I snort aloud, knowing I shouldn’t because it will escalate the situation. “Yeah, it affected you so much that you hopped into bed with women on literally every continent.”
“I didn’t sleep with anyone for months after you. But I’ll admit that I did fuck around later. Sure. I was so pissed, Lily. So hurt. I tried to find someone who compared to you. Tried to work out my feelings with other women. I’m not proud of any of that. Which is why I stopped fucking around a couple of years ago. Trust me, I tried to find a stable relationship with someone who made me feel like you did.”
I stare at him, open mouthed. He’d never told me any of this before. “If that’s how you felt why didn’t you call me, email me, visit me, tell me in person? All those times we saw each other at events you barely spoke to me. After I left you at the end of that season, I never heard from you. You didn’t fight for me, Max.”
“Did you fight for me? Did you stand up to your father? Did you try to deal with the press, like everyone in this sport does? No. You didn’t fight for us.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t talk to you at those events because I was angry, Lily. I didn’t want you to see my anger.”
“You obviously want me to see your anger now,” I snark.
“This conversation is long overdue.”
The reality of his words hangs in the air, and I feel like shit. I also have a deep desire to hear him say he’s sorry too. Maybe it’s something we both need to say, but I’m not ready for that yet. Maybe I’m not ready for any of this. I do want to stop fighting, however.
“I don’t understand how we went from last night to . . . this.” I intentionally soften my tone.
“Last night was amazing. It reminded me of how perfect we are together.”
My heart breaks at his words. I open my mouth to say something, but he continues. “Reminders of us, and how we’re so good together, make me pissed, Lily. We could’ve had this for the past seven years. But we didn’t. And I’m not sure it’s something you want for the future, which makes me even more upset. I don’t think you’ve dealt with the past, which means we can’t move on. I was hoping otherwise.”
He turns to stare at me. We’re about six feet apart, but it feels like the Grand Canyon separates us.
Finally, he sighs. “I’m going across the hall to my room. Please send my breakfast there.”
I watch, stunned, as he walks out the door.
