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Girl.
I never knew that such a simple word was capable of containing so much derision and disdain.
But it was different with Jack. He sounded sounded completely different when he called me that. Hisgirlwas full of exasperation or amusement, sometimes even fondness.
I never knew that this word could sound like that.
“If you don’t like it, I won’t call you that anymore,” he said, but I just groaned.
“That’s the problem. I don’t dislike it.”
It felt nice whenhesaid it.
“I don’t think I understand—“
“Never mind.” I waved my spoon around. I was unsure about what I was trying to say, too. It was just…
What was it about these boys that made me feel so at ease?
Despite being held by them against my will, their presence often brought me a feeling of calmness — hell, sometimes even happiness. And the worst thing was that I wasn’t even putting on an act. I genuinely felt all of those things.
Was I truly so starved for the kindness that I’d give in so easily even to my kidnappers?
Maybe that was it. They never acted like my kidnappers.
They treated me like a roommate, or a friend that had visited them out of state and now was now crashing at their place for a couple of weeks.
But just because they treated me nicely, that didn’t erase the truth of what I really was to them.
A prisoner with whom they could do whatever they wished to. It wasn’t like I had any way to stop them. I better try to remember that.
Jack tilted his head, frowning, and for a moment I was paranoid that he could read on my face what I was thinking.
“What is it?”
Thankfully, Jack just huffed out a little laugh, shaking his head. “You eat like a child.”
“Do I have something on my face?” I asked, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Not something. A lot,” he corrected.
“What about now?” I asked again, and he leaned forward.
“You still have a little bit… here, let me just—“
His thumb brushed against the corner of my mouth, the gesture light and gentle. The unexpected contact caught me off guard, but Jack didn’t seem to think anything of it, appearing entirely unfazed. Just as quickly as he had leaned in, he pulled away, only now he was looking pleased.
“All clean now.”
After staring at him with what I was sure were wide eyes for a couple of moments, I snapped back out of it and glanced down at the ice cream in front of me. It had already begun to melt.
I grabbed another spoonful, taking care to not get it all over my face again.
I chose to ignore the feeling that I couldn’t quite discern slowly starting to take shape inside me. It felt entirely too warm and bright —inappropriate— for the situation I was in.
Nine
Dahlia
