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Larissa hesitates for a moment. “You’re not responsible for Matvei’s death. You can’t blame yourself for what happened.” She sighs, looking away. “Is this really about avenging them, or is it about proving something to yourself? Or to the brigadiers? Let them fight their own wars. And you go find something else to live for.”
I shake my head. “I can’t do that,” I reply softly, clutching my self-control. “He died because of me.”
Larissa stands and rushes toward me. Her hands grip my face as if she wants to shake me, but her touch is gentle while her words are desperate. “You were a boy then, Nikolai. Achildless than ten years old. And Father asked you tokill.”
“He asked the same of Matvei,” I remind her darkly.
“But you are not Matvei!”
“As everyone seems so fond of reminding me!” I snap, knocking her hands away. “The hard facts are these, Lara. I didn’t do as Father asked, so Matvei took my place. Because of that, he’s dead. It’s that simple.” I stand up and pace the room, my voice rising. “His death is my fault. And I won’t let that go until it is avenged.”
Larissa looks at me with a look of disappointment mixed with concern. She struggles with her feelings about the Bratva, but this is something I have to do. Larissa is too kindhearted,caring more for actual family connections than what the Bratva represents. But on a larger scale, the Bratva takes care of all of us, so we must take care of it.
Family concerns may overlap, but the Bratva always comes first. When will Larissa finally understand that?
“I thought you came here for Eden,” Larissa says quietly. “Have you considered how your actions are hurting her?” She stares at me, and her spirit returns in a flash. “Because you are, Nikolai. You led her on.”
My chest tightens at the accusation. “I didn’t lead her on,” My gaze narrows on Larissa as if she’s the stand-in. “I told Eden the truth from the start. I won’t harm her. No one will harm her. I only want her father.”
“Nikolai.” Larissa hugs her body, and her face expresses a great loss as she stares at me. “I see you speak, but all I hear is Father’s cruel voice. When did you become him?”
“Eden knows the engagement is a fake,” I confess, avoiding her eyes. “She knows I used her for bait.”
Larissa laughs bitterly, and it jolts me to hear that sound coming from her. “She’s a naive little girl, Nikolai. She thought you fell for her. She thought you changed your mind and truly wanted to marry her. She thought youcared—and that’s the worst thing you did. You tricked her into thinking that you cared.”
Larissa walks past a table with several delicate blue and white vases. Her hand grazes the surface, and I wonder if one of those vases will end up aimed at my head.
I clench my jaw, trying to control my temper. “I don’t care what Eden thinks,” I lie. “She is a means to an end. She will have achoice when this is over. If she has sense, she will have a better family once the Bratva accepts her.”
“A better family?” asks Larissa. “Shehasa family, a family that the Bratva seems so intent on erasing. How can you do this to her?”
“It’s done, Larissa,” I reply coldly, moving toward her. “We’ve sent the message to the Lanzarre. Her father will die.”
“And you’ll sacrifice her for it, because she’s bait.” Larissa scoffs. “You can’t protect her if you don’t love her.”
The words cut deep. I know Eden could be in danger, but I have no choice. It’s for the Bratva and Matvei. They come first. Eden has to come last. But the thought of losing her bothers me more than it should. Her father is a traitor, and he has to be stopped. But I’ll keep my promise and protect her whether she wants me to or not.
“I didn’t think you were capable of being so cruel,” Larissa whispers, sitting down again. She stretches her body along the cushions as if our conversation has deflated her. “Let this war go, Nikolai Gennadyevich.”
“No!” I say, fully aware of her formal plea—like a boyar pleading with a tsar. “This isn’tmywar, Larissa Gennadyevna. It’s ours. The Bratva’s. I’m fighting for survival, not just revenge.”
“Survival?” Larissa repeats bitterly. “What is there to survive? Take a good look around yourself, Nikolai! Father is dead. Mother is dead. Matvei is dead. What is even left of the Starukhinfamily?Just you and me. Eden doesn’t care about revenge or the Bratva. She cares about family, and she is ready to build a family with you. But once you kill her father, what do you think will happen? Do you think she’ll thank you, or do youthink it’ll end with her plunging a knife in your heart?” Larissa sighs. “I’m tired of burying one Starukhin after another. Don’t make me bury the last one.”
“I can’t let the Lanzzare win, not now.” I take a breath, and I also feel worn down by all this talk. “I can’t let Matvei’s death be in vain.”
“Is that really worth sacrificing everything?” Larissa sounds angry again. “Is it worth losing everyone who loves you?”
“I love you, Lara,” I say quietly. “But this isn’t about love.”
“Get out,” Larissa says quietly. “I don’t want to see you again until you find some sense and stop listening to the same vipers who poisoned Father’s mind.”
I nod and walk toward the door. I didn’t come here to argue. I came to find Eden and talk to her, but I can’t now. I wanted to know if she had talked to her father or if she had any information. But knowing what I know now, she’d be a fool to tell me anything.
“Wait,” Larissa calls out. She dashes toward the front door and takes hold of my shoulder. My anger subsides when Larissa smiles at me—a tiny, hopeful smile.
“Don’t you want to see her?” she asks.
“No.” I pause and look toward the SUV and Anton inside, waiting.
