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“Fine.” Nikolai scowls at me as if I’m being a rebellious and ungrateful child. He grabs the wine off the tray and takes a sip before leaving the room.
I stare at the door, making sure that he’s gone. “I didn’t tell him,” I whisper.
“You should,” whispers Dominika.
“Why? He hates me.”
“He doesn’t, and he definitely wouldn’t if he knew about the child.” Dominika sighs and places her hand on mine to stop it from trembling. “You cannot hide it forever.”
“I won’t be turned into one of you.” My lip quivers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. Not to you.”
“Come, littlekoshka.” Dominika picks up the tray. “Let’s go before he changes his mind.”
“Will he say anything?” I ask.
She shakes her head and steps toward the door.
Suddenly, Nikolai comes back into the room with a cup of tea, and I try not to gawk as he carefully places it on the tray. He takes the tray out of Dominika’s grip, and I almost expect him to slam it back down on the coffee table, but he doesn’t. He heads toward the spiral staircase, carrying the tray.
“Help her upstairs,” he tells Dominika.
Solemnly, we walk behind him as he carries the tray to my room. Dominka helps me into bed but leaves when I am settled withmy tray. Nikolai sits across the room while I eat, and I watch him from the corner of my eye. He sits in the same chair Dominika likes to sit in whenever she’s here, but he fits it awkwardly. His shoulders seem to sag as he leans back, and his eyelids weigh down as his breathing becomes regular.
I greedily finish off my soup before I dare to look over at Nikolai, his head leaning to one side and his eyes shut as he sleeps.
I hate him, but something tugs at me as I climb out of bed quietly. I take a throw off the foot of my bed and drape it over him. He barely stirs. Nikolai looks so different when he sleeps. I made a vow to protect my family, and like it or not, Nikolai will be a part of my family.
The father of my baby …
What will I say to my child when they ask about their father? Can I tell them the truth? How much I hated their father and how he tried to hurt us?
My baby will have to stay hidden. I take in a deep breath as the feelings my dad must have felt overtake me. I slip back into bed, but this time, I don’t avoid looking at Nikolai.
The excuses start in my mind, trying to make Nikolai seem not so evil. I place my hands on my belly and remind myself it’s not about my feelings or his.
I have to keep my baby safe, which means keeping my mouth shut.
Keeping it shut, finding a way out of here, and returning home.
That’s all I have to do.
That’s the only thing Icando.
61
NIKOLAI
“Is your phone on?”
Eden looks up from her breakfast but doesn’t answer me. Her expression is hesitant, with a dash of resentment, as her spoon hovers over her cereal. I frown at the glutinous mess of oatmeal clinging to it, and her gaze shifts down before she quickly shoves it in her mouth.
“How’s your stomach feeling?” I ask, checking my watch as if the time is more important than her. Eden has on the simple white dress the staff wears, and I wonder if she’s trying to make a statement that I treat her more like them than as an equal.
“Why?” She watches me with her big hazel eyes. Despite everything, that innocence hasn’t completely left her yet, but it will. After her father dies, she’ll have to learn how to survive on her own.
I learned, and she will too.
“You had a rough night.” I act uncaring and shrug my shoulders.
