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I put an icy distance between us. “But at what cost?” My voice falters. “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me. Because of us.”
Nikolai closes the distance between us. A sad smile appears on his face, and his thumb gently brushes against my cheek. The warmth of his touch sends a thrum down my body, reminding me why I can never truly turn away from him. The rain pelts against the window in the heavy silence while Nikolai’s hand finds mine. He lifts it to his lips and kisses it like it’s one of his treasures.
My voice quivers as I watch Nikolai kiss my hand again. “About our engagement,” I start. “Why do you care so much? Is it still a fake arrangement? Or has it become something … else?”
Nikolai’s eyes search mine as if the answer is there, his expression unreadable. “If everyone believes it’s real,” he says, his voice low and sexy, “then doesn’t that make it real?”
I can’t help but let out a bitter laugh. “You’re not answering the question.” I stare into Nikolai’s eyes, searching for reassurance.
“But I did.” Nikolai raises an eyebrow, a hint of amusement playing on his lips. His grip on my waist tightens, and I feel the warmth of his body as he moves closer. “Eden, I don’t want to fight with you,” he murmurs, his breath hot against my ear.
A sigh slips from my lips before I can stop it. A mix of guilt and love swirls within my head, making it wobbly as I close my eyes. How can I fall for the man who represents everything my father hates? Nikolai tugs me closer and captures my lips, his kiss tender and hungry. My heart flips in my chest as he pulls me closer, holding me tightly. I want to lose myself in him, forget about the world outside this room. What we do here is our secret.
“Eden,” he breathes against my neck, trailing kisses down my collarbone. “I’ll take care of you.”
“But do you love me?”
Nikolai holds me tighter. “Yes.”
A shiver runs through me at hearing that one little word. But will love change anything?
“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers.
“No.” My voice trembles with eagerness. Alone, I can let myself belong to Nikolai.
He lifts me tenderly and lays me down on the bed. His gentle touch electrifies my desire as he undresses me. Unbuttoning the front of my dress, he lets it fall away from my body. His gaze never leaves mine, as if asking for permission to have me.
The pleasure he gives me is intense and accompanied by a deep sense of guilt. It’s impossible not to think about the bloodshed and betrayal that have led us here and the lives that hang in the balance because of a blood feud.
Sighing, I open my legs to him and cling to his strong back as he kisses me. His cock presses against my thigh, leaving a wet mark on my skin. I place my fingers in between my lips, stroking myself as his tongue moves in my mouth.
I press his tip into me, taking him in with a motion of my hips, and the room swirls as the sensation rushes over me. His fullness fills me as I match the rhythm underneath his strong body. My eyes flutter open, and he’s watching me, a look of tenderness in his eyes. Love. He said he loved me, but I didn’t know what to say. Will that be our secret too?
Moaning, I wrap my legs around his hips as he goes deeper. Each stroke pushes me closer to the edge. I shouldn’t have him. I shouldn’t want him. He’s definitely Mr. Wrong, but I want what I should never have.
“Eden,” he whispers between kisses, as if sensing the war battling inside me.
“Deeper,” I murmur. “Make me forget I should hate you.” I close my eyes and let the feelings take over my mind, blocking out all the sins I know I’m committing.
Nikolai buries his face in my neck and nips my skin, leaving his mark. I hate what he is—a pakhan, an embodiment of violence and cruelty, like my father.
We lie entwined on tangled sheets, and I find myself seeking solace in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under my cheek. The question returns and lingers. Can he change?
I can’t fall asleep. The silence between us grows heavy, the tension hanging in the air, but neither of us is willing to speak. We both know I’m torn between my loyalty to my father and my feelings for the man who has stolen my heart.
Nikolai kisses my forehead tenderly and I close my eyes, pretending to be asleep.
The phone on the dresser lights up and chimes while the light illuminates the room. I stare at it, speechless. Nikolai reaches it first and stares at the screen. He places the phone down, grabs his clothes, and leaves me lying there alone. I jump out of bed and run to the dresser, picking up the phone in my trembling hand as I read the text.
Stay strong, sweetheart. One thing left to do.
69
EDEN
My fingers trembleas I clutch the phone. I need to do something … anything to save Nikolai and my dad from their hell-bent destruction. I begin typing out a text.
“Dad, I need you …”
