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And as my anger scores my insides, a new feeling rises in me.
Defiance.
Nikolai Starukhin might think me an insignificant brat—a mewling kitten trembling in the presence of his power. But I’ll show him the truth.
I’ll show him that even a kitten has claws—claws sharp enough to draw blood.
As I sit there, facing the man who will force me into a marriage I never wanted, I can’t help but feel a deep sense of loss. My dreams of adventure, of exploring the world, seem to slip away like water through my fingers.
But at the same time, I cannot deny the allure of the privilege afforded to me through him. The world Nikolai represents isboth terrifying and exhilarating. And as much as I want to despise him for what he’s done, he promises a world I’ve only ever dreamt of—a world filled with art.
As perverse as it sounds, there is freedom in my new captivity. A freedom that I’ve never known before.
The icy looks Nikolai sends me settle my nerves. He doesn’t want me. He wants my father.
But why? What has my father done to these men? And how are they so certain that he is who they’re looking for?
I choseto go back to my bedroom after dinner. I lie on the bed, thankful that at least the walls aren’t painted pink.
Dominika knocks once and then enters the room. “Do you want me to turn down your bed?”
“No, go away.” I can’t trust her.
“I know you’re unhappy here,” she says, undeterred by my tone. “But I will do my best to take care of you.”
I lift my chin defiantly, determined to maintain what little independence I have left. “If I want to hear your opinions, next time, I’ll ask. Close the door when you leave.”
I know they think I’m being a brat, but what else do I have under the circumstances?
Dominika closes the door, but she remains inside the room. She lowers her voice, and her words come fast and low.
“Don’t try to run again,” she whispers. “Every bad thing you think about these men is true. You run, and you will lead these people to those you love. And they will kill—or worse—to get you back.”
I don’t move. “How can you know?”
“Because I’ve seen things,koshka.”She shakes her head. “Things that I cannot forget. Things that you do not want to see.”
I whip my body around to face her. “Like what?” I demand.
She goes silent for a moment. I can see her mind turning as she wavers between telling me the truth and telling me what I need to survive.
Finally, she settles on the latter.
“Be a good girl to him,koshka.” She takes a long breath. “But above all, be a good wife to him. Your life will depend upon it.”
Without further explanation, she leaves me in that room alone with my thoughts, each one more frightening than the last.
19
NIKOLAI
I trudgeinto the living room, bleary-eyed from a restless night. My sister Larissa is already here, standing in front of a window, looking out. She’s not interested in art, but she pretends to humor me as she’s always done since I was a little boy. Upon hearing my footsteps behind her, she glides toward me, smiling her sad smile, and fixes my collar and tie. She smooths my hair with a maternal flourish, reminding me she comes before me in the birth order.
“My dear Kolya.” She sits on the edge of the couch with her chin held high. “A pakhan in name, but still the little boy whose hair I used to muss.”
I can feel the weight of everything shedoesn’tsay. Sighing, I remain on my feet and wonder how much Rurik has told her.
“You’re here early,” I say. “What’s on your mind?”
