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‘I don’t think that’s true for me. After tonight, I think I’m just going to take some “me” time instead and then probably get back with Jasper.’
‘Ariella, you and Jasper are over. You’re just feeling defeated at the moment.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘I do. You’re only going back because it’s safe and easy. You’re going to face the same problems and you’ll never fully explore…’
‘What?’
‘Any kind of sex life. If you go back, it’s curtains for you.’
‘It’s curtains now. I can never do what you do.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘Make people sleep with you.’
‘Correction. I don’tmakeanyone sleep with me. They want to. I only make sure that I’m available, they have a good time and they don’t feel shitty about it in the morning.’
‘With absolutely no feelings.’
‘None whatsoever. If you’re serious about running back to Jasper to live miserably ever after, I’d shag you myself for your memory library. And perhaps mine.’ He laughs and pokes me in the ribs. I roll my eyes. How are we even friends?
‘The chances of that happening are zero. I’m not your type.’
‘Idon’t have a type. I’m notyourtype, Ariella.’
‘There’s no point debating this. It’ll never happen, because your morning glow guarantee might actually be put to the test by someone you can’t hide from, Caleb.’
‘Want to put it to the test?’
Caleb’s energy changes completely as he puts his finished drink down and walks towards me. He seems taller, broader, darker. For the first time, I see what I assume a lot of women see. Dangerous, imposing, playful and demanding surrender. I shift slightly. It makes me uncomfortable.
‘Caleb, I don’t think drinking super-strong gin and tonics in the dark, talking about our sex lives, is a good idea.’ I back away. The energy that radiates from him is making me nervous. ‘I’m going to bed.’
I grab both our empty glasses to rinse them in the sink. It isn’t until I finish washing them that I realise he hasn’t said a word.
‘Don’t go. Stay a little bit. I’ll stop threatening to shag you.’ He laughs.
‘I’m only staying up for cheese on toast. I skipped my main course.’
‘Make us another drink and you have a deal!’
I make them quickly and hand him a glass after I hoist myself up to sit on the island. He takes a sip as he starts hunting for the bread.
‘Final thought. I know you say he’s a nice guy, but Jasper really did a number on you.’
‘In what way?’
‘You don’t think a lot of yourself.’
‘That’s not true. I know that I’m smart and capable. I’m just not courageous, exciting or the best with people. I also don’t always say the right thing, but I’m learning.’
‘You don’t think you’re courageous?’
‘No. I hide a lot.’
Caleb stops his bread-buttering.
