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‘I’m coming with you, Isszy.’
He speaks directly to her. I tug his arm so he’ll look at me.
‘But we’re meant to go back together.’
‘Plans change.’ He won’t meet my eyes.
Mommy yelling at Zachary and slamming a door filters downstairs and ends my protest.
The car-run to the station happens in total silence. Isszy sits in front, focused on her hands, while Caleb sits behind, staring outside his window. He only speaks when he gets out of the car.
‘Just so you know what you’re walking into, Jasper wants a word when you get back.’ With that, he slams the door, and jogs to catch up with Isszy.
The ground floor is eerily quiet and empty, apart from Jasper sitting at the dining table, when I return. Even the kitchen and garden are deserted. Everyone knows this talk is happening and they’ve made themselves scarce.
‘Where is everyone?’
‘Hugh’s upstairs having a nap, and Dahlia’s probably trying to figure out a way to hide Zachary’s body. She’s been yelling at him the entire time you were gone. It just went quiet. I’m pretty certain she’s killed him.’
He makes me smile. He always knew how to do that.I love you. I miss you, but I can’t.I clear my head.
‘Can we talk?’ he asks.
‘Sure. What did you say to Caleb, Jas?’ I sit at the dining table, next to him.
‘Who gave you the love bites?’
He is in the perfect position to appreciate their full glory. I don’t want to tell him, but I don’t want to lie either.
‘You said you wanted to talk, Jas, not interrogate me.’
‘You’ve been quiet.’
‘I called you the night I came back from Zambia, like I promised I would. I believe you were busy.’
‘I had a friend over.’
‘A female friend. At twoa.m.’
‘We’re not together, Scrappy.’ The way he says my nickname makes my heart lunge for him. ‘This is enormously challenging for me. When you left—’
‘Yes, I left and I hate that I did that to you. But I wasn’t happy and it wasn’t your job to make me happy. I have to do that myself. I wanted to be a better person not just for me, but maybe for you. Eventually.’
‘Itismy job to make you happy, and I can’t bear that you weren’t. Do you know why?’
‘I don’t know. We worked all the time. Weekends were the same; dinner and family. Our holidays were first-class, five-star, hyper-sanitised luxury, where you worked and I stayed on the beautifully paved track. Our sex life was scheduled once a week, on Sunday night at nine thirty after a shower. Everything was rigidly planned. I wasn’t ready to live like that.’
‘Aari, we could’ve discussed this, cut back on work and changed things.’
‘Jasper, work is not my issue, it’s yours; I just got the shrapnel. Remember when you almost broke your neck trying to get phone reception when we went skiing? I spent most of that week on my own. I remember thinking I’d much rather be alone with you in a run-down shack in the middle of nowhere, with awful weather outside, but at least we’d be laughing.’
‘We had beautiful morning walks and lovely meals together that holiday. You had a chef giving that private cooking course. I had that teacher doing yoga with you every day. We made it work.’
‘Because you put me on a schedule. I was a daily entry in your diary, Jas. I would’ve followed you anywhere because I wanted to be with you. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I’m not sure I even bothered to find that out in the first place.’
‘You’re hardly on your own figuring stuff out. What’s going on with Caleb?’ he questions. I know what he’s asking, but ignore it because answering it would be cruel. He doesn’t need to know.
‘What did you say to him?’
