AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘You’ve been here half an hour. You can’t turn up, talk to two people and disappear!’
‘I’ve had my three drinks and I’m starting to feel a little tipsy.’
‘You’re fine. Let’s get you some wine – that’ll make you happy. I’ll introduce you around. Don’t worry about remembering any names.’
With Lara as my anchor, I spend the next couple of hours meeting some of the people on the floor and in the building. Half of the time, I have no idea who or what they are talking about, so I just keep a tight smile on my face. Lara keeps my drinks topped up all evening and, before long, I know I’ve had too much. When I start to feel light-headed, I take it as my cue to leave.
Outside, partly energised by the fresh air, I jump into the first black cab that rolls up and reel off my address. It isn’t long until I am standing at my front door, looking for my keys. I press the bell and keep searching through my bag before it suddenly dawns on me that I don’t live here any more. I slowly back away from the door and, just before I turn to take the last step, the door opens and I am confronted by a thunderous-looking Jasper.
‘What do you want? It’s only been twenty-four hours since you took it upon yourself to move out of our home, Ariella.’
He stands there seething in the doorway, bags under his bloodshot eyes. The initial shock of this is replaced by an appalling realisation –I did this.
‘I’m sorry,’ is all I can manage. Everything else is wedged in my chest. And I am. I’m sorry for all of it. I attempt to leave and step back, but miss the final step and fall backwards, breaking the fall with my palms and landing on my bottom.
‘Are you drunk?’
‘No. Maybe a little bit, but I’m okay. I’m fine. Honestly. Sorry.’
His eyes narrow and I see him struggling with himself as he observes me quietly. My hands and knees graze the unforgiving pavement as I begin to stand. There’s going to be blood.
‘Get in here now.’
He steps outside, grabs me at the top of my arm and pulls me inside, refusing to look me in the eye. He guides me into the kitchen and sits me roughly on one of our stools before he retreats quickly to the opposite side of the room, as far away from me as possible. He crosses his arms, unsure what to do next. I silently fight back tears and do all I can to avoid eye contact.
‘I am so, so sorry. You don’t deserve any of this, Jasper.’ My voice cracks, giving away my heartbreak, and I suddenly feel his anger drain away.
He wets a tea towel and approaches me cautiously. I try not to react as he turns my palms up and starts to wipe the dirt away. It stings a bit, but I sit there quietly as he cleans the tiny cuts, grabs some cotton pads and antiseptic wash to disinfect them, and pops a plaster on the biggest one. He doesn’t say anything either. When he finishes, I wait until he has turned his back, then pull out my mobile phone and order a car. Twelve minutes.
Jasper catches me confirming the pickup. ‘You’re leaving?’ he asks, deadpan.
‘I really should,’ I plead.
He fills a glass of water, places it next to me and starts to make some coffee. I watch him move around our—hiskitchen carefully, with a longing that is killing me inside. I am grateful when the coffee grinder comes on, filling the silence and relieving the tension in the air. I lovingly watch every move the back of his head makes. I know every parting and ambitious grey strand on that head; and I love every single hair on it. When the machine stops he brings over a white porcelain cup and saucer. The memory of us picking those cups together on a rainy Sunday afternoon in Fulham comes to me.
‘Drink.’ It isn’t a request.
I take a sip and start. ‘Jasper—’
‘I don’t want to talk, Ariella. You’re drunk and the way you left nullifies any conversation.’
‘I just want to—’
‘Your note said everything I need to know.’ This is pushed out through clenched teeth.
‘I’m sorry I left the way—’
He cuts me off again. ‘How long until your car gets here?’
I look at my app. ‘Seven minutes.’
‘I’ll be in the study.’
‘Jasper, it’s just that—’
He stops and turns around. ‘“You love me, you’re sorry, but you just can’t”.’
‘It’s not that simple.’
