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I see Jasper lose the restraints on his anger before he explodes.
‘Ariella – itisthat simple! You made it that simple! You left me! You didn’t try to have the discussion you’re trying to have now. You left, with absolutely no warning. Want to know how I found out you’d gone? I got a fraud alert that someone had spent £27.45 using our credit card at Kazim’s News and Booze in Hampstead on the way home. I thought it was hilarious the fraudsters didn’t aim higher. Then I came home and called for you…’
He stops and composes himself. I feel what he must have felt in that moment. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and continues.
‘You’re not even staying at a hotel or back at home. That would scream that whatever this is, it’s fixable. You’re actually living somewhere else. I know the dedication it takes to go flat-hunting in London; you’ve been planning this for weeks if not months.’
‘That’s not true. It was only that day I—’
‘Save it. It hurts, but I have to find a way to let you go. I won’t follow you. I won’t ask you why. I won’t try to get you back. There’s nothing to discuss.’
He pauses and looks right into my eyes, repeating it like a mantra.
‘You love me, you’re sorry, but you just can’t.’ With that, Jasper turns to walk towards the study.
I stand still, disgusted at the finality of my actions yesterday. This isn’t what I want, is it? ‘I’ll tell my parents this weekend,’ I offer.
‘Do whatever you like, Ariella.’
My phone beeps. My car is outside.
‘That’s your cab. See yourself out.’
Jasper opens the door to his study and, without looking back, slams it shut behind him. It takes me a few seconds to decide not to go after him. Shutting the front door behind me now feels much more painful than the first time.
Suddenly, I hear my name. Jasper. As I see him burst through the door, I reach for my phone to cancel the taxi. The driver will be mad, but this is worth it.
‘Jas?’ I answer, hopeful.
He looks uncomfortable. I understand. We’ve both said stupid things.
‘I love you more than anything else in this world.’
He says it so sincerely, I’m about to burst into tears.
‘I lov—’
‘But please, don’t come back here. Ever again.’
He barely gets the words ‘ever again’ out as he walks back into the house, shutting the door quietly behind him.
I get in the car and finally let my tears flow, wishing I could relive the last day and a half all over again.
SIX
CALEB
‘Hey! Hey!’ I call from the couch, sipping on my beer, as the front door opens.
‘Hello.’
She sounds croaky, so I look over.
‘Bloody hell, what happened to you?’ She looks like one of those creepy red-faced dolls. ‘You look like you’ve been in a fight.’
‘Rough night,’ she whispers.
As she walks closer, I confirm that she has been crying. Hard. This is why sharing with chicks is a problem. I should have said no. It is only day two and I can already feel her sucking all the fun out of the flat. I focus on the extra twenty per cent. Maybe I should make an effort to console her.
