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‘I waited up for you as long as I could. How did it go?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘You’re sure you don’t want to stay?’
Ariella cautiously comes closer and gives me a hug. I bear it for as long as I can, then move away.
‘Let’s go.’
‘Okay. Clean up and I’ll call us a car, meet me in the lobby?’ She shuts her laptop, grabs her suitcase and walks out of the bedroom.
We travel back to London in silence. It is exactly what I need.
The next morning, I get a text from my sister.
SEVENTEEN
ARIELLA
It is the second funeral I have been to. My grandfather’s was just over four years ago, and I remember feeling a jumble of love and loss during the slowly unfolding week we were out in Louisiana. The funeral was on a lovely sunny day. We mainly spent it eating and speedily forming relationships with new family. I remember missing Jasper terribly and wishing he could be there. Everyone wanted to talk and share memories, but I just wanted to sit in the sun with someone I really knew, and cry quietly. I could have done that with my Gigi, my Granny Grace, but it just seemed unfair to ask her to wipe my tears along with hers.
Today is rainy and grey. It didn’t start terribly well, with me forcing myself onto the train with Caleb. The crematorium is full by the time we get there, so we sit in the back. After Caleb’s sister and father speak, Caleb is called to say something, but he doesn’t move. When I reach for his hand he pulls it away. I feel excruciating pain emanating from him and, when it is over, the coffin is slowly introduced to the furnace.
The reception is at the pub around the corner from their home. Caleb walks in, puts a thousand-pound bar tab on his credit card and makes his way to the pub stage, set up for karaoke. He turns on the microphone and, shockingly, the crowd begins to boo. He just waves it away slowly, like he is lazily dealing with a passing fly.
‘There’s a thousand pounds behind the bar for you to drink to your hearts’ content in honour of my mother.’
The pub cheers. He continues like he doesn’t hear them.
‘She brought me into this world and contributed to the circumstances that have made me the man I am today. For that, I owe her.’ With a scowl, Caleb steps back from the microphone, and grabs my arm as he walks past with a short, sharp, ‘We’re leaving.’
We get into the waiting taxi and I notice Caleb’s sister fighting through the crowd to get to us.
‘Lime Street,’ he instructs calmly as Kayleigh pushes through the pub doors and we pull away.
Our taxi ride back to the station is as silent as the ride to the crematorium. Caleb only lets out a sigh when we are in our seats on the way back to London. I give him half an hour before I dare to ask the question.
‘Are you okay?’
‘No. You had no right, Ariella. You had no right to come up here in the first place. You had no right to speak to or meet my family. You had absolutely no right to go and see my mother in the hospital, and you definitely had no right to make me go. You’re not meant to be here. I hate that I’m doing this; and I especially hate that I’m doing it with an audience. This is my life, my problem, my family, and you forced your way in. You pushed and pushed and pushed. Right now, I wish you’d just fuck off!’ he shouts at me.
‘Oi, mate! Don’t talk to her like that,’ the man sitting across the aisle speaks up.
Caleb gets to his feet. ‘And what business of yours is it?’
‘Mate, you donotwant a piece of me.’ He joins Caleb on his feet.
‘No?’ Caleb asks and starts to loosen his tie.
‘Will both of you just calm down!’ An older lady in front stands up, opens her wallet and shows us all a police badge.
‘You.’ She points at me. ‘Get your things. Come and sit with me.’ I swiftly do as I am told.
‘You!’ She points at Caleb. ‘I suggest you take a walk and stay away from this carriage.’
Caleb huffs and leaves the carriage.
She turns to the guy who intervened. ‘Thank you, sir, you can take your seat.’
