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“You’ve done more than you know.” He’s given me a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a very long time. He’s given me hope for the future.
13
Knight
Spending time with Lyra has been nice. Okay, it’s been better than nice. I fucking love having her around and just being with her. She’s so easy to be with. And the kids? Well, we’re working on that. Billy has a million questions about the club that I typically give vague answers to, but Cameron is closed off. I don’t know what the past has done to them. I don’t know where they come from. I don’t know much about their past, but I know I care about Lyra more than I probably should.
“You want more?” Lyra asks as she holds the pan of food in her hand. I shake my head when she turns to her sons and asks them the same thing. She has cooked dinner almost every night. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had home-cooked meals. I typically just grab something unless the girls at the clubhouse decide to throw something together. Lyra walks back and sets the pan on the stove, and when she comes back around the table ready to take her seat, I grab her, pulling her into my lap.
“What are you doing?” she asks as she tries to pull away from me. I won’t let her.
“Holdin’ you.”
“The kids,” she whispers.
“Are old enough to know we’re together, Mama. Calm down.”
“Are you two getting married?” Billy asks. I chuckle now.
“No. We’re not.” Lyra replies, and quickly, might I add. I didn’t expect her to respond that fast, but she did.
“What’s this then?” Cameron finally asks, motioning toward us.
“This is us bein’ together. I’m her boyfriend,” I announce.
“You are?” she asks, looking over her shoulder at me. I smirk.
“Yeah, I am. Is that not what you want?”
“I mean, we didn’t talk about that.”
“Don’t need to either. I know what I want,” I tell her.
“Which is what?” Cameron chimes in again.
“To be with your mom.”
“So you’re sleeping with her?”
“Cameron! That’s not a question you’re allowed to ask.”
“Why? It’s common sense, Mom.”
“It’s also none of your damn business,” I tell him. He huffs out a breath and sits back in his chair. That kid … I wonder what the hell made him this way. So standoffish and angry.
“Why don’t me and you go talk,” I suggest. He shakes his head.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“I’m not. Let’s go talk.” It comes out as a demand this time as I pat Lyra’s leg so she stands from my lap. I shove out of my chair, and so does Cam before he follows me out the back door. When we step outside, I light up a cigarette and offer him one. I know it’s wrong, but I did a lot of bad shit when I was his age too. Surprisingly, he takes one and lights up with me. I shouldn’t entertain the idea of him smoking, but I figure it’s one way to get him to open up and talk to me.
“I don’t know much about you,” I tell him, blowing smoke into the air.
“Not much to know.”
“I think there is. Like why you’re so angry would be nice to know,” I tell him.
“Who said I was angry?”
