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“Fuck. I didn’t know, Knight.”
“I didn’t say anything either. I know you got a baby now that keeps you up, and I should have thought better,” I admit, but I didn’t.
“Fuck it. We’re both dealin’ with some shit,” he says before holding his fist out for me to bump. I reach out my hand and bump fists with him before grabbing my beer and taking a long pull. This has been a shit show. Lyra can’t sleep for shit which in turn means I can’t sleep for shit. I sit up with her, hold her, and remind her the motherfucker is gone. I do my best with her, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough, and I hate it. I hate she doesn’t feel safe with me anymore. I hate I can’t soothe her the way I once did. It kills a part of me.
“It’s your birthday, motherfucker. Try to loosen up a little,” Tarek says, slapping me on the shoulder. I want to be at home with Lyra, but instead, I’m out with the guys doing a little recon for a run we have coming up. I don’t want to be here. I want to be there.
“Fuck my birthday. They ain’t meant shit in years,” I remind him.
“This year is different. You got a family now,” Ridge reminds me. He’s right. I should be thankful, and I am. I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I want the kids and Lyra.
“Yeah, you’re right. I need to focus on them,” I say more for myself than for him.
“You do focus on them, Knight. Don’t doubt that shit, brother.”
“Some days, I wonder, man. I look at them and think, do they really need me in their lives,” I admit to the guys.
“Fuck that, Knight. Of course, they need you. You’re the one solid thing they’ve had in a long ass time,” Cage snaps at me.
“And if you don’t hurry the fuck up, we’re gonna be late,” Tarek reminds us all. It’s Saturday, and that means it’s football day. I haven’t missed one of Billy’s games yet, and I sure as hell don’t plan on it now.
“Fuck it. Let’s go,” Cage finally says, flicking his cigarette through the air. We all blow out a breath of relief, tired of sitting around here waiting. There haven’t been signs of anyone in hours, and frankly, I don’t want to be here.
We climb on our bikes, and we all take off. The ride over to the park where the game is doesn’t take us too long. We all pull up and park when I glance over at the guys.
“What the hell are you doin’?” I ask when they begin to climb off their bikes.
“Watchin’ the kid play,” Tarek replies.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s part of this family now, asshole. We show up and show out for family,” Cage says. I smirk at him and shake my head when I see Yenni walking toward us with the baby in her arms. I didn’t expect to see her here, too, but there she is.
“Happy Birthday, Knight.”
“Thanks, darlin’.” I lean down and kiss her cheek, listening to Cage growl as I do. I just grin. I like pissing him off.
“If you two are done, can we get some seats?” Cage snaps in my direction.
“Sure. We’re done now,” I tell him before strolling past Yenni and toward the bleachers. That’s where I find her. Lyra sits with Cam, watching the field for Billy as I approach. She turned her head and looked up at me, a little confused, as she knew I had to go out this morning.
“What are you doing here?”
“You think I’d miss his game?” I ask her as I take the seat next to her. She’s still healing, but she looks amazing. Her stitches and staples all came out, and the busies have faded. That doesn’t change the dreams, but I can hope one day they will end, too.
“I thought you were busy?”
“I was. Done now. I wanna be here for his game,” I tell her once more. I see the tears in her eyes, and I know she cares about me. I know she likes it when I’m here for the kids.
“Thank you, Knight.”
“Don’t start thankin’ me for shit again. I’m here because I want to be, Mama. We got a kid to watch kick some ass,” I tell her. She laughs a little before leaning into me when I throw my arm around her shoulder. I keep her tucked into my side as the game starts. I never want to let her go. And something inside of me snaps at the thought. I’m not letting her go. I had plans for today, and I intend to go through with it.
We sit and watch the game along with the rest of the guys and girls, screaming like crazy people. Who the hell knew that a kid’s football game could get so crazy? I didn’t know people take shit this far, and I find myself getting wrapped up in it.
“Sit down and shut the hell up,” I yell at the guy behind us as he bitches about bad calls. I want to watch the game, not listen to his whining.
“Hey, you watch it, man!” I turn my head and glare at him, watching as he sits back down and closes his mouth. That’s what I thought.
