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“You don’t handle a child,” I say. “You just love them.”
He nods, still staring at his table.
“I know,” he mutters. “I know that now. And even though I wanted the best for you, I should have listened more. To both you and Blake. I failed as a father.”
My throat constricts with pain. The next words I’m going to force out are going to be the hardest ones yet.
But today is about coming clean. So, I am more than ready to do it.
“You were right about something.”
He looks up at me.
“Alex Steinman.” Saying his name makes hurt ricochet through me. I close my eyes against the sensation of an ice shard ripping through my heart, burying itself deep into my body.
It’s going to get better. That’s what people say, anyway.
“You were right about him,” I repeat, as my eyes flutter open. “I shouldn’t have believed we had a future together. Though for a moment, I hoped for it.”
My father does not look surprised. “I love Alex. But he was dealt a rough hand as a kid. He’s carrying so much hurt within him, I don’t think he’ll be able to heal it in three lifetimes. And I was unhappy when you started fake dating because I know guys like him.”
“You were upset because that ruined your Furman plan,” I remind him.
“Only partly,” he replies. “Any man on this planet would be furious at the thought of someone like Alex dating his daughter. I was him a couple thousand years ago. And one of the reasons I was so hard on you was because I wanted to protect you.”
He’s saying the truth, I realize. A smile forms on my lips, regret stabbing me. We’ve wasted so much time, me pretending to be his perfect girl and him focused on giving me what he thought was the right life. If only we’d both listened to each other more, we’d have the greatest relationship in the world right now.
And it stings me to know it’s much too late for that.
“I’m sorry he hurt you,” my dad says, meeting my gaze. “And I know you want me to stay out of your business, but I’m not going to promise I won’t throw a punch the next time I see him. Even if it costs me my job here.”
I think of Alex walking out on me. In light of my father’s vow of revenge, getting dumped by him feels a little less painful. But it still hurts. And maybe it’s always going to sting, because I’m going to always have a living, breathing reminder of what we shared.
I take a deep breath. It is time to drop the news.
“I’m pregnant with Alex’s baby.”
My dad’s eyes grow wide. He pushes himself to his feet, his fists shaking in anger.
Everything that happened to me over the past few weeks has been excruciating, but this is almost a tiny blessing. All my life, I’d worried about being the perfect daughter. And even on my best days, I’d worried I wasn’t quite good enough.
Today, I am sitting in front of him, unmarried and pregnant by one of the most notorious playboys in the sports industry. And not even a single cell in my body is worried about my father hating me for it.
“I know you’re angry,” I start.
“Not at you,” my dad spits, filling me with surprise. “I’m going to obliterate that scoundrel. He used you. You were supposed to help him. And he took advantage of you and—”
“He didn’t,” I say, rising up. “Yeah, Alex walked out on me after I told him about the baby. But he never took advantage of me. I did everything I did because I wanted to.”
My father’s face turns purple, and I newly understand how damn awkward it is to talk about sex with a parent. I bite back yet another smile, thinking of how we’d never really talked for so many years but had jumped right into that within an hour.
“I’m keeping the baby,” I declare, grateful for the chance to drop another bomb and dispel the awkwardness.
It works. My father’s eyes go round. “Brit, you cannot begin to imagine how hard it is to be a single parent.”
A month ago, I would have been sure that he was discouraging me because he wanted to maintain a perfect fatherly image, and having a daughter who is a single mom would not fit into it. But today, I know he’s saying this because he cares about me.
“I’m aware. This is not the life you hoped for me. I wouldn’t have wanted this either. I used to daydream about simply packing things up and leaving Philly. But I’ve figured out that I can still do that, even as a new mother. So, here goes . . . I’m leaving Philly.”
