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I shake my head, amused in spite of myself. She’s furious at me, and I’m not entirely sure she’s ever going to forgive me. But yet another thing I love about Britney is how every experience with her is infused with light.
“I’m here to give the ‘I’m sorry I was a dumbass’ speech.”
“True.”
“And the ‘I love you’ speech.”
“What?” she sputters, sounding incredulous. “Did Blake force you to say that or something? Cause I’m not buying it. Get out.”
I take a step forward. “I’m sorry I left that day. I was a dumbass. The most pathetic one in the universe. I knew I loved you from that moment back in California. And when you cut me off, I was ruined. I wanted nothing more than to see you. It was everything I could have dreamed and more, hearing you tell me you love me and are pregnant. But I convinced myself that I couldn’t stick around and make a happy family with you. That I’m not worthy of your love, and you would eventually leave me.”
Britney says nothing, but I can tell her defenses are crumbling.
I take another step forward. “You know my family was shitty. And I was scared to repeat the mistakes my parents did. I still am. But nothing, not even the possibility of messing up, is scarier than the thought of spending an eternity without you in it. The past month has been the most miserable time of my life. And I’d rather give it a shot andlose you while trying than spend my life wondering what if. Because I love you more than you can imagine. And if you take me back, I promise you I’ll be worthy of your love.”
Britney lets out a small gasp and drops her gaze to the floor. “Words are cheap. You’re just saying that because of the baby.”
I cross the room to her, holding her chin up, so she’s staring at me. “I do love the thought of having a baby with you, one that has both of us in them. But not as much as I love being around you. And you know that. Because I’ve wanted to be around you even when you loathed my existence.”
Tears fill her eyes. “I want to believe you. But I know you, Alex Steinman. You’ve always been a playboy.”
“You should believe this.” I wrap my arm around her waist. “I’m never going to get tired of unraveling you. Cause I’ve been trying to figure you out for years, and I’m not bored yet. I was skating through life because I was worried I would never find stability. But you offer so much more than that, Brit. You’re my home.”
The seconds tick by, and she just stares at me, the tears drying in her eyes.
My anxiety takes a sharp turn.
“I know this isn’t part of your docile act,” I say after a few more moments. “But I’d appreciate it if you said something.”
She takes a deep breath. “Fine,” she says. “Let’s say I believe you. But you’re a Philly Flyer. And I still want to leave.”
“Then we’ll leave.” I’m surprised at how easy it is for the words to spill out of me. But then again, with Brit, I always become an entirely different person. “This season is almost over, and my contract with the Flyers is up in two years. We can go anywhere you want.”
Brit’s jaw drops. “You’ll leave hockey? You’re kidding.”
“I’m not,” I say, deadpan. “Nothing, even a million careers, is worth dropping you for.”
She stares at me for a couple more moments. And then, she leans over and brushes her lips against mine. “Okay, Alex Steinman,” she mutters. “Let’s start fresh—with a real relationship this time.”
The bliss in the pit of my stomach unfurls into a million other emotions: peace, happiness, stability, and joy, more joy than I’d ever felt in all my life.
I would have never imagined that yet another girlfriend scandal would lead to this.
But life can surprise you.
And I’m never letting go.
EPILOGUE
BRITNEY
My heart is thumping like a caged bird. It’s right in front of me, but I still cannot believe that it’s real. I reach out and brush my trembling fingers across the huge ribbon and bow encircling the building. Goosebumps rise on my arm, and I finally start to believe it.
“Nervous?”
I turn around to look at Blake. He’s grown his hair out over the past two years, and I still haven’t quite gotten used to it.
“Kind of.” But that’s not the whole truth.
