AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Cas?” Reed asked, pulling me from my lust-filled thoughts. It was just him and me in the hallway. The door shut, blocking us from the outside.
I leaned against the wall, letting it take my weight. Reed was so fucking beautiful. Most saw him as one of the best singers on the planet. And yeah, I understood it. His voice haunted my dreams. But he was so much more than that. He was kind and loving. He was good down to his bones. I didn’t care about our status out in the world. That we had legions of fans who would love to get closer to us. What I cared about were my family and friends.
“Oh,” I heard from the other end of the hall. Turning, I saw Elic in his regular clothes, his uniform gone.
Reed gave him a bright smile. Jealousy used to flare when he flashed that for others. I wanted every part of him for me alone. That wasn’t the case anymore. I didn’t mind that he was smiling at Elic, because I wanted Elic to have everything he wanted, including Reed’s affection. It was weird as hell. “What did you think of us?”
“I’m not interrupting anything?” Elic didn’t need to say the words for us to understand what he meant.
Reed kept his smile firmly in place. “Not at all. Are you done for the night?”
“Cadence let me out early. She told me to catch a ride with you to the house, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
“Casper?”
I was stunned that he asked me. “I don’t mind, El.”
His eyes widened. “El?”
“Shit.” I rubbed the back of my head. “I’m sorry. Did I bring up a bad memory or something?” I was a dick, but not a complete one. Okay, I was that too. With Elic, I wanted to do better, at least in this.
“No, not at all.” He stepped closer until he was standing directly in front of me. “I like it. No one has given me a nickname before.”
I had a sudden urge to caress the backs of my fingers over his cheek to find out if his skin was as smooth as it looked. When we first met him, he had stubble there, but not much. He’d told us one morning how he couldn’t grow facial hair well, so he liked to keep his face shaved.
Reed looped his arm through Elic’s. “So?” Reed asked, giving Elic a gentle shake. “What did you think?”
“You two were so good. I had no idea. You said you were in a band. I knew you must have been pretty famous with all you have, but to hear you live and watch the way everyone was hooked to your music, it was… I don’t have words. It made me wish I would have listened to music more when I was younger.” That was a way to drive the age difference between us. Elic might have been younger than me by over a decade, but he didn’t act like it. He was mature beyond his years, thanks to the bullshit he’d been through.
“I’m glad you liked it.” God, the way Reed smiled, the way he had his arm through Elic’s, I wanted to touch them both, be a part of whatever this was, even if it was simply a friendly gesture.
“I couldn’t get up there like you two do. The thought of it scares the hell out of me.”
“You can’t think about them,” I said. “Everyone watching. You have to focus on something else. The instrument you’re playing, the mic in front of you.” I shifted my gaze to Reed. “The rest of the band.”
Reed wasn’t looking at me. He’d dropped his eyes to the floor. “Come on. Let’s go home.” He urged Elic toward the door.
Elic flicked his gaze over his shoulder as Reed took him outside. I followed like a lost puppy, hoping for a scrap of attention. This was an instance of me getting what I deserved. I most certainly hadn’t earned Reed’s affection.
Reed got on one of the four-by-four utility vehicles that were plentiful on the farm. This one was his. He drove it back and forth from his house to the farm. Elic sat next to him while I took the back seat. Dash and Slater were gone. I had walked here earlier. Actually, I had been walking for a while, trying to clear my head, to no avail. No matter where I went or what I did, I wasn’t able to escape who I was. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was time for me to stop being an asshole and start being…notan asshole.
When Elic looked at me again and smiled, it might as well have been a punch to the chest. That was how strongly I felt it. While Reed made me hate myself for the way I’d treated him, for feeling like I wasn’t good enough for him, Elic made me feel something else. Something deep and profound. Something that scared the shit out of me. I wasn’t worthy of his kindness or Reed’s love. I wasn’t worthy of anything I had, but it seemed Elic thought I was.
10
REED
Being alone with Casper was as simple as breathing and as complicated as writing, recording, and producing an entire album by myself. When someone else was with us, it was easier to ignore him, to ignore everything. Elic’s timing was amazing and shitty.
Any chance I could get to be with Casper had my heart beating faster. We’d been skating around what we were for a long time. Dash, Slater, Molly, and Elic knew. Elic witnessing us going at it was a twist I didn’t see coming. I was happy we were talking again. While what happened didn’t seem to be a topic on the table, I had something else in mind.
I pulled the small vehicle onto the patio, knowing no one would touch it here. There were cameras along the outside of my property. Inside, I drew the line. There was a great security system, but I didn’t need the security people who monitored my house watching me fuck. Not that they would do anything with the video. They had signed contracts saying they wouldn’t. I couldn’t be too safe in terms of my private life though.
Casper got out of his seat first and was in the house before Elic or I could speak. No shock there. Casper did what he wanted. I didn’t expect that to change. Although he let Starry out when he went in. She must have been waiting by the door. She rushed toward us to get pets before wandering off to do dog stuff.
Elic and I sat for a bit, facing the long driveway and the road. The weather was nice. The sun had set while we’d performed.
