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Starry came running toward me, her head going from side to side as she looked for Elic. I had no idea where she’d been, and it wasn’t like she was going to tell me. We stayed outside a few minutes longer before going in for the night. I wasn’t sure what was to come, but I knew it was going to be interesting as hell.
11
ELIC
There wasn’t conscious thought as to what direction I was going in when I went into the house. The living room and kitchen were quiet. Starry and Reed were still outside, so I climbed the stairs and stopped at the top, acting without fully realizing what I was doing until I knocked on the first door on my left.
“Go away, Elic,” I heard from the other side. Casper wasn’t angry. His voice was resigned.
“I want to talk to you. Let me in. Please.” It was probably the please that had him opening the door. Something had to be done. Reed wasn’t rushing in here to speak to him. They didn’t seem to talk much at all.
Casper’s hair was a mess, pieces going in every direction. Bloodshot eyes met mine, unable to mask the torture he was putting himself through. “What?”
It was bold of me, but these two weren’t ever going to communicate without an intervention. Dash and Slater had probably tried in the past, Molly too. I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me. Casper backed up, so he wasn’t in my space. He was easily six inches taller than me and outweighed me by a lot.
I wasn’t a confrontational guy. I avoided conflict. Yet here I stood. Not to fight, but to figure out what was going on. To possibly get Casper to open up to me. “How much did you hear?”
“Enough.”
“Did you hear Reed say he loved you?”
He nodded, then dropped his chin, his shoulders hunching. If he could curl completely into himself, I bet he would have.
“Why won’t you tell him how you feel? If I can see it, he can too.”
“Reed’s too good for me. I’ve done nothing but fuck him and push him away. Pull him in while we’re on tour, only to run like my ass is on fire when we’re home. He deserves better than me.”
Closing the distance between us, I crouched slightly to find his eyes. “Don’t you think he should make that decision? You wouldn’t like someone telling you how you feel. You shouldn’t do that to Reed. He’s a grown man who…” Shit, I almost said Reed deserved better but caught myself in time. Or maybe I didn’t.
Casper leaned back and spun around, facing the window where the deep navy curtains were drawn closed. “Go, El. I can’t do this with you.”
“I wasn’t going to say he didn’t deserve you, just that he deserved to make up his own mind.”
Casper’s fingers went through his hair, gripping it on top and holding it the best he could. “Reed wants to be with you. You’re better for him than I am. I seek and destroy. Love?” he scoffed. “I only know one version of it when it comes to Reed. It’s like claws in my heart, slowly raking over the muscle, trying to rip it from my chest. Every time I run from him; I have to fight not to go back. When I’m with him, I need to remind myself there’s nowhere for us to go because I can’t give him more. I have to keep my words to myself.”
“You called him my love. I heard you.”
He released his hair, his hand going to his side. “It’s the only time I let it slip. He can brush it off as in the heat of the moment.”
“But it’s not. You love him so much that when you’re with him like that, you can’t hold it in.”
“It doesn’t matter. Reed can do better.”
A thought suddenly occurred to me. “Are you worried about what the media or your family or fans would think if it got out that you were in a relationship with your stepbrother?”
He turned, giving me those tortured eyes again. There was some fire in them now. “I don’t give a single fuck what anyone thinks because they don’t matter. When I’m with Reed, they don’t factor into it. If we ever were in a relationship; I wouldn’t care who said what.”
“Your family would support you.”
“Probably.”
“You’re the only one blocking your happiness.”
“I’m done talking about this.”
I nodded. “Fine, but think about what I said. You could have everything you’ve ever wanted if you were willing to let go of how you see yourself and started believing you’re worth what everyone else knows you are.” I went to turn to leave, but his words stopped me.
“What about you?”
