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“You don’t know if Reed would be on board with it.”

“Do you seriously think if I walked into Reed’s room and told him he got to date both of us, he would say no?”

Casper reared back. “Date? No, no one is dating. I thought we were talking about fucking.”

“I can get fucked on any street corner in Dremest.”

He stalked close again, but this time I retreated until my back hit the wall. There was something in his eyes that had my lips pressing closed. Casper slapped his hand against the wall by my head, making me jump at the sound. “Do not bring up sleeping with other men.”

I had to hold firm. Let him see he couldn’t scare me off, even if I was shaking a little. Fear was a wicked bitch. Casper wouldn’t hit me, yet when he started coming for me, my fight or flight kicked in. But Casper needed to believe he was more than this. He was more than his anger, his self-hatred, and his lack of self-worth. “I already did when I brought up Reed.”

“He’s different,” he growled.

Lifting my chin, I put on a brave face I certainly didn’t feel. If this went sideways, I had no one to blame but myself. “Does he know that?”

“Goddammit!” he roared and spun away.

I pulled in a much-needed breath of air.

The bedroom door flew open, causing me to jump a second time when it bounced off the wall. Luckily, I wasn’t in its path. “What the fuck, Cas?” Reed shouted as he took us in. His eyes met mine. “Are you okay?”

“Casper wouldn’t hurt me.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Reed was angry. It was a side of him I didn’t like to see. Between Casper yelling and Reed getting pissed, I was done with being in the room with them.

Instead of responding, I finally gave in to my need to leave and dodged around Reed to get out the door. Starry met me there, her nose pushing against my fingers. Within a few steps, I was in my room with her, the door closed behind us. I dropped onto the bed, immediately reaching for her to run my fingers through her fur.

I tried to be confident in front of them, saying things I was surprised I had the balls to voice. When they were both pissed, no, I couldn’t do it. Every bit of bravado fled in favor of self-preservation.

Casper’s room was next to mine. I’d learned I was in Dash’s room. He told me if he needed to crash while I was here, he’d stay on the couch. I tried to tell him I’d take the couch, but he wouldn’t hear of it.

“How could you do that?” I heard Reed yell. “You shouldn’t raise your voice to him!”

“What the fuck do you think you were doing? He wasn’t trying to escape until you came in here like a knight to save his prince!”

“Oh, fuck you, Cas.”

Moving fully onto the bed, I curled into a ball and put the pillow over my head to block them out the best I could. My body started shaking for a whole different reason than it did a bit ago in front of Casper. Then I wanted him. Now, I wanted to get far away from them.

It was a fantasy thinking I could make such ludicrous requests. I was no one, and they were famous, for fuck’s sake.

Starry jumped onto the bed and lay in front of me so her face was in mine, her wet nose pressing against my cheek. The king-sized bed easily held us as I continued to buffer myself from listening to them fight. I focused on the dog in front of me, who didn’t care what state of mind I was in. She only wanted to make me happy.

12

CASPER

“You’re not eating,” my mom said as she pointed her fork at me from across the long farmhouse table. Natural wood on top with white painted legs and matching chairs, it had been a fixture in the home for a long time.

There were nicks in the wood in spots from wear and tear. My gaze kept drifting to one in particular. It was on the side of the table, part of the paint missing from when Reed thought wearing chains was in and had one hanging from his jeans. I’d grabbed him by the waist when no one was around, leaned him back, and kissed the hell out of him for the very first time. Little did I know the chain was etching off the paint with every jerk of Reed’s hips as he tried to get closer to me.

Lifting my eyes, I found Reed watching me, but he quickly averted his gaze. That was the most interaction we’d had in a week. After I’d lost my temper on him, after I scared Elic from the room, I packed my shit and fled. I’d outstayed my welcome. It was time for me to go home.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at Elic. The guilt that settled in my stomach was a fucking rock. To know I upset him, that was hard to swallow. I’d beat myself up to the point I had a bottle of Jack in my hand at my place the other night, so close to tipping it down my throat. A flash of Elic’s sweet smile had me putting it down. Drinking wouldn’t fix this.

What Elic had brought up—me being with him and Reed—I thought there was no way it was possible. The more I sat in my sterile penthouse with the air-conditioning blasting way too cold, the more I missed their warmth. Not just Reed, but Elic too. I’d hardly touched Elic, but if I got the chance to have him, he’d light me up from the inside out. He’d fill those frigid gaps inside me.

“Casper!” Mom’s sharp tone rang out. I hadn’t realized I didn’t respond or that I’d shut everyone out. Every noise, every look, I ignored them all, even Molly who I knew when I glanced at her, would tell me without words she knew what I was going through.

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