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Slater was where Dash said I’d find him, with his back pressed to the chair and his knees brought up. Even though it was warm out, he had a blanket over his legs. His dark brown hair hung over his forehead and into his eyes, like a curtain blocking him out from the world while allowing peeks of the surrounding area in. Slater took after their mother in looks. Dash took after their father.
Piercing light blue eyes tracked my movement, staying with me until I took the seat next to him. I wasn’t ready to stare him in the eyes, so I faced the pool like he had when I arrived.
He looked so different from when we performed. On stage, Slater was confident and ate up the fans screaming for us. Here, now, he was nothing like that man. His shoulders slumped, his eyes had dark circles under them, and his cheeks were a little hollow.
Minutes ticked by as neither of us talked. I attempted to form the words I wanted to say without yelling at him because so much of that anger still lingered.
My voice was low when I spoke. “What you did was wrong.”
“I know. I shouldn’t have said it. Dash said he told you why I had, but that doesn’t excuse it. I’m sorry.”
“How could you say those things about Casper after all he’s done for you, after the times he’s been there when you needed him most? Especially if you didn’t mean them?” I had to fight to keep the anger out of my tone. Fuck, it was difficult.
“All the years we’ve been friends, I thought maybe one day you’d look past him and see me. It was my fault for not voicing how I felt. You aren’t psychic. You can’t tell what I’m thinking by looking at me. That seems to be something you can only do with Cas and maybe El now.”
“We’re not talking about me with them. We’re talking about our friendship and how you hurt Cas and me.” My relationship with my men could be brought up after I mended things with Slater,ifI did.
“I can’t help how I feel.”
“And I’m not asking you to put a lock on your emotions. I’m hurt by what you said about Cas and me. Abuse? Really? It makes me wonder if you ever saw him. Do you think he’s capable of abusing me when you know what it’s like to have him hold and comfort you? Seriously, Slay, what the fuck? Cas might come off growly and a dick most of the time, but that’s not who he is. That’s his way of keeping people at a distance. If you stopped for one second to look inside him, you’d know this.”
There were a lot of things I could deal with, but listening to someone lash out like Slater had wasn’t one of them. Worse was Casper believed him. Believed he had abused me. Did he use me? Sure, but I used him too. We both got off those times we were together. Was he rough with me? Absolutely, because he knew I wanted it. Did I hate it every time he walked away? I fucking crumbled to the ground and loathed him for doing it while still loving him.
Abuse? No. Casper attempted to give in to what he wanted while also trying to preserve his heart. His dad wasn’t there for him. His mom was abused by the men she was with. Casper was afraid of doing the same to me, which I knew deep down he wouldn’t. He couldn’t walk away from me, not when his heart knew where it belonged.
“Cas has never hurt me,” Slater whispered. “After I left and thought about what I’d said, the guilt I felt…”
“Yet you didn’t come back to apologize.”
“I didn’t think you’d want me anywhere near you.”
“You were right. I wouldn’t have, but if you would have returned with a sincere apology and a reason why you lashed out, I would have talked to you, and we could have avoided this.”
Slater turned toward me. “Reed…”
I finally looked at him, giving in to the hitch in his voice. Tears filled his eyes as his lips parted to say more. But I didn’t need him to. I leaned toward him and pulled him into a hug. Slater gripped me hard while he sobbed, his tears quickly soaking my shirt. He wasn’t alone though. Tears silently rolled down my cheeks. Slater’s pain was palpable, and I hated how much he hurt.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly. “I’m so fucking sorry. Please don’t walk away from me. I couldn’t stand not being your friend.”
“I’m not going anywhere, although you have to apologize to Cas. He deserves it. You really fucked him up.”
“I’ll talk to him, just not today.”
Leaning away, I held his arms and looked into his bloodshot eyes. “You have to take care of yourself, Slay. We need our friend back. Plus, we have music to write. I miss our sessions together.” I wanted to make our moment lighter and move past the shit that happened. Although Slater couldn’t yet, not when he still had to talk to Casper.
He swiped at the tears beneath his eyes. “I miss them too. Are we good?”
“We will be once you apologize to Cas.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m happy for you. You’ve loved him for a long time. I’m glad he finally came to his senses.”
“We have Elic to thank for that. I don’t think we would have gotten where we are without him, and I wouldn’t have wanted to.”
“So… two men, huh?”
“So, your brother helped one of your one-night stands move out of Elic’s stepfather’s house, huh?”
Slater tipped his head back and laughed. It was great to hear. “Touché.” When his eyes met mine again, he whispered, “I think he likes him.”
