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Once Tristan emerged from the bathroom, I told him about the letter. Jordan shouldn’t keep that from him. I sure as hell wasn’t going to. We had no secrets. Tristan wasn’t shocked to hear and didn’t ask to see the letter.
In addition to Jordan’s man scaring Oscar—I didn’t know who Jordan had sent—Jordan turned the information over to his attorney to be handled. The attorney found out Elic was already being represented by another high-ranking firm. Reed and Casper must have taken care of it. Now Tristan would be covered too. He couldn’t have afforded it on his own.
No, nothing happened to Tristan outside of him being used, lied to, and brainwashed. He wasn’t assaulted or raped. But Jordan insisted he had someone taking care of it when this went to trial or whatever the next steps were. Tristan wanted to put it behind him, but he couldn’t do that when Oscar was trying to contact him. Everything would be handled now. Tristan didn’t fight Jordan on covering the bills.
Trying to tell Jordan no was a lot like saying no to my mom. The word would be ignored, so it was better to give in and accept the help.
I kept to the walls as dancers walked past me. Some gave me odd looks due to me not being social. I wasn’t catty or likedto spill my life story. My goal was to come here, sometimes eat, dance, and leave. The less interaction, the better.
“Romeo.” I turned to see Dexen walking behind me. His hands were in the pockets of his black slacks. His lilac button-down had the sleeves rolled up and the top buttons undone. “Do you have a minute?”
I nodded. Even if I didn’t, Dexen ran this place. He could rearrange my schedule to give me the time needed.
He motioned down the hall to his office. Simon stood outside, probably expecting Dexen’s return with me. He gave me a quick smile, then went back to keeping watch over our boss. A guard shadowed Dexen around the club. They usually rotated their positions, so it wasn’t always the same guy.
Dexen’s office was clean, as always. Everything in its place, from the items on his desk to the pillows on the couch. I wasn’t in here often, but it was the same every time.
A leather couch sat to my right in a seating area that took up half the space. A TV adorned the far wall while on my left was Dexen’s desk, as well as two chairs in front of it. No sound could be heard in here. No clue as to what music played or if a dancer took his leave of the stage. Soundproofing the room was smart. I wouldn’t have been able to work with the constant noise either.
“Have a seat,” he said and gestured toward the couch. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No, thank you.” I sat on the far edge, closest to the wall, and turned to face him.
He sat at the other end. “How are you doing?”
“Okay,” I said slowly, unsure where this was going.
“Relax. You’re not here for any reason other than for me to see how you are. After Saturday night…” He shook his head. “Let’s just say I haven’t been that shocked in a while. Now, when I look at you, I see the resemblance.”
“Please don’t compare me to him.” My father might have helped give me life, but he wasn’t a man to be looked up to, not that I thought Dexen did. “I don’t need you tiptoeing around me because you think I have love for him. I don’t. The best thing he did was leave me alone and write checks.”
Dexen leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Listen, Malik was a piece of shit. There’s no way to sugarcoat that. Not only did he like to throw his weight around, but he also flat-out hated Greer. He tolerated JJ because of Jordan Senior. I’m sorry Malik was a terrible father and didn’t want to be a part of your life. That was his loss. Just know you have an extended family with me, JJ, and Greer, as well as the rest of our friends and family. You have a relationship with Jordan, but you have us to lean on too.”
“Thank you. While I appreciate it, I’m not the type to pour my heart out over how I feel.”
He chuckled. “I’ve gathered that by watching you while you’re here. You don’t want to make friends and spend time with the other dancers. Hell, you only talk to Dom a little. With me, you hardly say anything.”
“It’s not personal. I have too much at stake with my ties to Jordan. The connection I have to him is under wraps, where I want it to stay. Not only that, but I don’t like being around people.” I wasn’t about to dive into my past with him. Tristan and Dash didn’t even know the full extent of what I’d been through. I’d tell them when I felt steady enough to do so. When I wasn’t having a bad day and my anxiety didn’t simmer right below the surface.
“I’m here if you need anything. We haven’t told anyone what you said to us the other night, nor will we. You’ve done a hell of a job keeping your connection to Jordan silent. There’s no reason to change things unless you want to.”
I could bring it out into the open. Walk in and out of Jordan’s building. Act like it was another day, and I was part of his life. But it wouldn’t work that way. No one would give a fuck that I wasn’t involved in Jordan’s illegal businesses. They’d see us and immediately think I was a criminal too. I didn’t agree with what he did, nor did I need to. I wasn’t his keeper. Exposing my connection to him would hurt everyone in my life though. Once someone was linked to Jordan, a target appeared on their back. He had more enemies than people he trusted. I’d rather fly under the radar to keep everyone I loved safe.
“I like it the way it is,” I told Dexen. I also liked that even the reporters didn’t follow us in East Dremest.
“You’re smart for keeping it that way. I rarely share my past with anyone, but I’m going to let you in on a bit. This is the second time I’ve been in a relationship with JJ. The first one didn’t end well. Even after we went our separate ways, I still watched his back. JJ can take care of himself, that I didn’t doubt. He couldn’t have eyes everywhere though. The distance he kept from his father wasn’t enough. JJ became the way to get to Jordan. I’ve done things I won’t get into with you. Things I’d rather not have you exposed to. You’re one of mine, Romeo, and I protect those I care about. Whether you think you are or not, I’d do for you what I’ve done for JJ. You’re not just my employee. You’re my family.”
I swallowed… thickly as tears stung my eyes. Dexen sat steadfast, saying words I’d only heard my mom and Jordan say. Words I knew Tristan and Dash felt as well. “You hardly know me,” I whispered.
“I know what it’s like to feel broken. I saw you the first day you came in here. You needed a place to fit in, where you weren’t judged. Where you’d be safe to express yourself and dance. I was fortunate to be the one who could provide that environment for you. More than that, I was damn lucky to have you trust meenough to tell me your story the other night. JJ and Greer aren’t here, but hear me when I say you’re one of us. You can talk or not. Tell me your worries or tell me to shut the fuck up. I won’t push you away. I won’t look at you differently or like you don’t matter. You feel broken. I see it in your eyes. Your anxiety, your father, and more weigh on you. There are two men who love you so fucking much it shines in their eyes when they look at you. Healing isn’t always easy, but fuck, it’s worth it.”
“You’re healed?”
“Yes, Romeo, I am. It took JJ and Greer to do that. My brother, my parents, they were there for me, but they weren’t who I needed to heal here.” He pressed his palm to his chest. “JJ and Greer, they get me in a way no one ever has. They wrap me up, let me feel whatever I need to, and accept me without reservation. Dash and Tristan will do the same for you.”
“What if they don’t like what they hear?” The fear that rode me, that plunged me into panic attacks, still lived within me. Worry that one day Dash and Tristan would see I wasn’t worth it and leave. They’d walk away and never look back.
“They don’t need to like what you say. They need to accept it and you. If they love you, it won’t matter what you confess. They’ll be there, regardless. This kind of love, the one I feel for my men, it’s boundless. I’d go to the ends of the earth for them, and they’d do the same for me. When you’re ready, Dash and Tristan will be there. And if you ever need someone else to talk to, my door is always open. Here or at home. All you have to do is knock.”
