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There was a pregnant pause before her mother admitted that she wouldn’t. “I guess there’s only one thing you can do.”
Josie let out another groan before raising her head to look at her mother. “I know. I’ll come clean in the morning.”
“You can’t. It’ll just cement his idea that you’re a lonely cat lady.”
“Then what do you suggest I do?”
Ruth smiled. “We find you a boyfriend. Or,” her smile widened, “we find someone willing to pretend to be your boyfriend.”
If only it were that easy.‘It could be. Look at all the dinner donors Louise gets,’a silent voice reasoned. “Where are we going to find one of those?” Maybe her mother had an idea that didn’t involve swiping right.
“I was thinking you could try one of those dating apps.”
Crinkling up her nose, Josie bit back a curse. “Do you even know of any legit dating apps?”‘Louise does,’the silent voice reminded her.
“Well,” Ruth drawled, shifting around on her chair, “my friend Lori has met plenty of really great young men usingsomething called Cub Connect.” It took every ounce of Josie’s self-restraint to not groan out loud. Lori was known for two things: her striking resemblance to Jennifer Aniston and her love for dating men who were young enough to be her son. There was nothing wrong with her living her best reverse age gap life, but what worked for her wasn’t going to work for Josie. Her mother would figure it out. Cougar. Cub Connect. “You know,” Ruth continued, her cheeks flushed, “maybe Cub Connect wouldn’t be the best choice for you.”
“Probably not,” Josie agreed.
“Oh!” A smug smile twisted Ruth’s lips into a smirk. “What about your friend Louise? Isn’t she always swiping up on some app or another?”
Everything in Josie went still. There were just some things one did not tell their mother, and their best friend’s swiping habits was one of them. “What makes you think Louise uses a dating app?”
“Her grandma goes to bingo with Aunt Beckett,” Ruth replied, as though that was supposed to explain everything. Maybe it did. Louise had a fairly open relationship with her granny June. The pair talked about things Josie wouldn’t dream of bringing up to her mother, let alone her grandma. “You text her, I’ll text Lori, and maybe between all of us we can figure out which app is the best one.”
“I need to check on the new cat.” Jumping up, Josie sped walk towards her bedroom. This was what her life had become? Sitting at home on a Friday night with her cats, talking about finding a fake boyfriend with her mother and checking on her fifth cat. Jesus. Maybe Kyle was right. Maybe she did need to get a life.
“Lori says try LoveBuzz,” her mom called out.
Damn. Lori and her mother worked quickly.‘What dating app do you use?’There. She had text Louise. While shewaited for a response, she poked her head into the bathroom. Parking lot cat had finally come out of the kennel and was lounging in the sink. The way he stared at her, it was almost like he knew what she had done and he didn’t approve. “Look, dude,” she whispered, “if you’re going to live here, you’re going to have to accept the fact that sometimes I do dumb shit, okay?” He continued to stare, a bored look on his face. Or maybe that was his ‘feed me, you crazy lady,’ look.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, diverting her attention away from the cat.‘Love Buzz.’followed by‘I thought you hated dating apps?’and‘Call me bish.’“Louise says Love Buzz.” Josie quietly closed the bathroom door, making a mental note to quiz Aunt Beckett up on any need to know information.
“It’s kind of pricey.” Ruth grimaced.
Of course it was pricey. Apps like Love Buzz preyed on people’s desperation to find love. Josie was desperate, but she wasn’t $29.99 a month desperate. She needed a short term fake boyfriend, not the promise of true love from an app that was known for hook-ups. “Maybe I can borrow one of Lori’s cubs.”
Ruth snorted. “Oh honey, you're not their type.”
“You don't know that.”
“You're not their type,” her mother repeated.
Did she really need to be their type to fake date? “Well I’m not paying $29.99 for an app.” And that was when her mother said the magic words: free trial. According to their website she would have 30 days to find out what the buzz was all about. If she wasn’t drunk in love by then, their expert matchmakers would continue searching for her happily ever after. “I can’t believe I’m actually considering this.” Maybe Kyle was right. Maybe her life had reached a point where people should be concerned. Normal twenty-five year olds didn’t set up dating profiles just so they could snag a fake boyfriend; with their mother helping no less.
“I should probably give you some speech about honesty being the best policy,” Ruth sighed.
“Probably,” Josie agreed.
“I just keep thinking about that goat yoga fiasco, and how if I were you, I wouldn’t want to trust them to pick a date either.”
“Right? Like who thinks goats and yoga are a good idea?” Josie settled back into the corner of her sofa and drew her legs up under her. A few taps on her phone later, she had the Love Buzz app downloaded. “Question one, what is the first thing people notice about you,” she read aloud. Her creased. Seriously? How was she supposed to know what other people noticed about her?
“Your self confidence,” her mother suggested.
“Seriously?” Ruth nodded. Before she could overthink it, Josie typed in the response and then let out a groan with another ridiculous question popped up. “What are your three best life skills?”
“You know how to laugh at yourself.” It was true. Josie had gotten pretty good at laughing at herself. “You have a lot of personal integrity.” Arching her brows, Josie glanced up at her mother. Saying she had a lot of personal integrity while searching for a guy to pretend to be her fake boyfriend because she lied to her brother felt kind of wrong; she typed it in anyway. “Oh, and you are a creative problem solver.” More like a big fat liar, Josie thought, but if her mother wanted to phrase it as creative problem solving, sure, she could go with that.
