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I get off of Lev’s lap and tug him to his feet, not separating from his touch. He leans into me, and though I’m desperate to hear his voice, I am willing to wait until I’ve helped heal his trauma.
After all, a lot of it is my fault. Before we leave, I overhear Dr. K talking to Damien.
“You guys need to be careful. If she gets pushed too far, she will likely go into a fully dissociative state. She did well today, and it seems that once the initial shock wears off, she’s okay. But we never know what might happen.”
“Thanks, doc. We got this.”
I sure as fuck hope we do. At least this time, I’m not afraid that I’m going to stab them in their sleep, just more anxious that my body is going to be set ablaze with pain every time I look at my guys.
That’s better than the alternative though, right?
???
The elevator of the new place brings us to the third highest floor, and I walk in still holding Lev’s hand. The changes they made to the building are insane from the state-of-the-art biometric scanner to the enormous size of the renovation in general.
Damien told me how it used to be a single flat with three rooms, which they have now converted into three stories. The living area has a large opening above, creating a loft out of each level. The dark blue walls and black furniture add a mysterious vibe to the room that I very much like.
My jaw nearly drops as I walk into the kitchen. An eight-burner stove top, an island larger than my entire body, and a fridge that could easily hold the four of us are just the highlights. Alexi’s smile is so bright as he shows me around each room. Even though I can feel my heart rate kicking up with anxiety, I can’t bring myself to regret coming here.
My hand slides into my pocket to grab another sour candy. I don’t want things to get as bad as they did earlier because I’m ignoring the signs my body is giving me. I need to stay on top of this.
Before I can search for a trash can, Lev takes the wrapper from my hand for me. I look back at him with a smile and stand on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He might not have words, but Lev has always been about actions anyway.
I see all of their rooms, and finally, they take me to a room of my own. We agreed it was safer and best for me to not be with all of them at once, just in case I woke up for any reason. I don’t want to get triggered in the middle of the night.
Based on the notebook they were given, Boris seems to be the only one that my mind is wired to want to kill, but I’m not taking chances here.
“So, what do you think?” Damien asks as we make our way back down to the first floor to eat and relax on the couch.
“What’s on the third floor?”
They showed me all of their rooms and my own, and we all have our own closet and bathroom. The living and dining areas are on the first floor which opens into the kitchen. So what else is left?
“Eventually, it will be our room as well as the gym. But it’s not finished yet.”
My brows pinch together. “You thought it was a good idea to put the area where we blast music and do insane workouts at all hours of the night by our future bedroom?”
Alexi chuckles. “If you think I did not make the plan and triple check every single item then it seems you might have forgotten who I am, Princess.”
“Oh really? What’s your plan then, Batman?” I cross my arms, giving him my usual attitude. I’m not quite sure how he always pulls this side out of me, but I must admit I love our banter. It feels… normal.
“There is a small entryway with soundproof doors on each side leading in and out of the gym. The walls are padded on the inside as well as sound absorption pads on the outside. I could shoot off a gun in there, and no one would even bat an eye about it in the bedroom.”
“So it’s also a torture chamber?” I question sarcastically.
I don’t love the idea that things could happen in there to one of us without each other knowing. What if someone dropped weights on themselves and needed help? What if one of us got hurt?
“I can see where your mind is going, Princess.”
Lev squeezes my hand, willing me not to worry. But how can I not after everything we’ve been through?
“I just worry about you guys.”
“We have surveillance all through the house,” Alexi says. “Including alarms that will go off if it senses someone is hurt, Lev programmed the whole thing and put it on a private network that only we have access to. We all have also installed trackers under our skin that will alert to our phones if one of us is in trouble.”
We make it to the living area and sit down. Lev pulls me into his lap and Damien sits beside him, placing my feet in his. Alexi sits across from us in what looks likehischair.
“You don’t need to worry about us, Little Shadow. We are the ones worried about you. Where was your head at when you ran off like that?”
