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“Lan?”
“I never knew sex could be like this.”
“Like what?”
“So all-consuming that I couldn’t get close enough to you. I couldn’t get enough of you. Period,” he says, and a shiver runs up my sweat-soaked spine. “I am never letting you go, Lexi. Never.”
I couldn’t find any words to respond. I couldn’t even think, so I just curled up into his sweaty chest like a little kitten and gave myself away to this moment.
To the moment I realized that I was madly and irrevocably in love with Landon Locke. The one who treats everyone around him like shit but somehow makes me the queen of his world. The one that shows me sides of himself he never dared to expose to anyone before. The one who is mine as much as I am his.
And now I am terrified, terrified that he has a firm hold on my fragile heart and can squish it in a blink of an eye.
I want to trust him, I want to believe that he won’t hurt me, but Landon doesn’t do relationships. He doesn’t do commitment, so what the hell am I expecting?
Suddenly, I realize I love a man whom I don’t know much about. Even if he shows me his vulnerability, there are still skeletons in his closet that he keeps under a steel fucking lock.
We are lying wrapped in one another, in silence, until I break it. Because I have too many questions.
“I’ve never seen you with anyone apart from me. You don’t have any friends, do you?” I ask without mocking, just mere observation and curiosity.
“Nah, I find any type of commitment overrated, unnecessary, and painful.”
“Painful?”
“Do you have many friends?” He asks, trying to ignore my questions and redirect the conversation to me.
“Nah-huh, you are not switching the subject. Why painful?”
“It always ends in pain,” he says with finality, letting me know that he won’t elaborate.
But I am nothing if not stubborn, and I need more.
“Were you ever in love?” I ask, and he takes a few moments to respond.
“I was…but I’m not sure if I could call it love anymore.”
“Why?”
“I don’t think I knew the real meaning of that word back then.”
I gulp, nervous and terrified to ask the next question, but I do it anyway. “What about now?”
Landon is silent once again, and then his hold on me tightens, and the words that change the course of my life slip out of his mouth, “Now I have you….”
27
LANDON
Ican’t get enough of her touch.
After that explosive experience we shared, I still can’t get enough. Lexi is lying comfortably in my arms with her sweet body pressed tight to mine, and my fingers are drawing little patterns on her arms. And for the first time in years, I can confidently say that I am happy.
I really am happy.
But with that happiness, the guilt is kicking in extra hard.
When Lexi just asked me if I knew what love was now, I wanted to squeeze her hard and scream at the top of my lungs that I did. I know what it means to love someone with all your heart and soul, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.
