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Of course, I do, but ignorance is bliss. Especially when my brain can’t decide if we still hate him, don’t care about him, appreciate him, or feel something entirely inappropriate—and I don’t mean lust.
Kira:You know I won’t.
Julius:No, I actually don’t. Not with this one.
Julius:I saw you two last night.
Kira:Whatever you saw was indifference and hate.
Julius:And which one of those made you fuck him in your office just now?
Kira:It was actually a blow job.
Julius:*Groans* Even better…
Kira:Was that enough for you to leave me alone now?
Julius:Was it enough for you?
Kira:I hate you.
Julius:No, you don’t. And you don’t hate Vassar either, and that’s a problem. He’s a nice guy, sister. Someone who will want the whole family thing.
Julius:Are you ready to give him that?
Kira:Since when did you start asking stupid questions? Please don’t tell me your little ballerina had something to do with that. I actually like her.
Julius:A-plus for effort, but I will not change the subject, and I am not Landon, who feels like ripping anyone’s head out in the open.
Kira:Jesus, relax. This is all fake. You know, he knows it.
Julius:Oh hell…
Kira:What?
Julius:Now, who’s the one with the stupid questions…
Julius:Care to tell your brother why you left yourself out of that category?
No, no, I don’t.
But I don’t say that to Jules. He’s always been perceptive, and I know he saw it all last night. Maybe even more than I did. Something I haven’t even realized and still refuse to do. Yet my mind doesn’t ask my permission when it hits me like a nuclear bomb.
I have never hated Vassar. I’ve only hated how much I was drawn to him.
Always.
And I can’t go there. I can’t fall over that cliff again.
Chapter eighteen
Vassar
Song: Imagine Dragons – Radioactive
My life hasn’t taught me shit, has it? I still like to play with fire and drown in the oceans of hurt. Because there is no other explanation for what just happened in her office. Or last night at her apartment. There’s no explanation for why I had to fuck my fist in the bathroom thirty seconds after I left her office after coming down her throat harder than I ever have before and watched her own climax taking over her mind as she came all over.
No explanation for why the taste of her pussy has been permanently stuck on my tongue and seared into my brain. Or her scent in my lungs for the entire day. Or the sound of her moans plaguing my ears.
