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She looks at the picture and then at me, those green eyes terrified and lost.
What is it? What is going on, Kira? What secrets are you holding onto so hard that they won’t let you move forward…
Who stole your heart?
Chapter thirty-six
The Past
Song: London Grammar – Non Believer
“Are you sure you read the instructions right?” I ask Jonny as we stare at the two lines on a thin strip of cartoon in front of us.
“Y-yeah, I read it a million times since you told me you were late two days ago,” he answers in a shaky voice. Both of us lost and praying for a miracle, but I think I screwed Jonny over because there are no miracles in my life, and I am bringing my bad luck over to him.
“What do I do?” My head is shaking as new tears threaten to come out. I’ve been crying for two days since I realized my period was two weeks late, and I slipped off to the library and read about the possibility of pregnancy. Something I didn’t think to consider because the others used condoms, but I never did that first time when I gave my virginity to Jonny.
I immediately ran over to the grocery store to find him while Dad was busy buying new liquor for himself, and Jonny told me he would get the test ready for me the next time I came in.
Well, here we are…
“We, Kira. Not just you. I was there too, remember?” He takes my hand in his shaky one, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Okay,” he exhales loudly. “I think you need to see a doctor, right? A-and don’t you need those vitamins? You know, the ones all the pregnant ladies buy here.”
I blink at him, gapping at his mouth like an idiot because there is no way he is saying what I think he is saying. “Jonny!”
“What? Are you okay?”
“Okay? No, I am not okay. I can’t have this baby. I’m fifteen, and you just turned seventeen. Not to mention, my mother will kill me.” The tears are free-falling down my swollen cheeks like it’s a thunderstorm.
“It doesn’t matter how old we are, Kira. I like you, okay? I really, really like you.” He kisses my hands. “No, I think I love you. We can do this. My parents will be mad, but they can help. And in just one year, I will be eighteen.”
“You don’t understand! You can’t love me,” I yell out too loud for the small, tiled grocery store restroom. “She will kill me! She’s a monster!”
Jonny grids his teeth as his handsome face hardens. “Then you don’t go back home. Stay with me.”
“You’re crazy! I am fifteen! I can’t just run away. I have a plan. I’m going to do it slowly.” I break away from him, my fingers lacing into my hair and pulling on it until I feel some of the strands come out.
“Kira, I am freaking out too, but you and me? We can do it. I know we can. Do you feel anything for me?” Jonny is gripping my shoulders as he searches for the answer in my eyes.
“I-I don’t know. I like you, yes.”
“Then that’s enough for now. Pack whatever you need when you get home, and I will meet you outside. I will keep you and our baby safe.”
“Jonny…this wasn’t supposed to happen.” The defeat is evident in my voice as my head tips down, landing on his chest, and he wraps his hands around me.
“Maybe not. But maybe this is a good thing? I will do this with you, okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper. I don’t know why I agree to this madness. I don’t know anything about being a mom. Or kids. But then Jonny’s hand slips over my flat stomach, and my heart flutters inside my chest.
Something lights up inside of me, and for the first time in my life, I feel that flicker of hope. Of love.
We agreed to meet at three AM, which should be enough time for my parents to fall asleep—even my drunk dad—and I count the minutes until three o’clock hits, that hope growing with each passing minute.
Thankfully, there were no clients today because I lied about starting my period, and I was free to pack whatever meager belongings I have into a grocery tote Jonny gave me. As soon as I see the two-fifty-eight flash on the clock, I get up, moving extra slow to avoid creaking boards as I make my way to the front door.
Like I predicted, Dad has passed out at the kitchen table, and the lights are off in their room. I feel the sweat beads rolling down my spine while I move at crawling speed. But with each step I take, I taste that freedom a bit more. Hope that has lit up inside my heart earlier grows into a steady fire.
I am two steps from the front door. Only two steps when everything comes crashing down…
