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Itried to ignore the image of a single poppy seed flashing in my mind, but the visual kept popping back.Atiny, black poppy seed spun slowly on a never-ending cycle, forcing me to glance down at my belly.
Isthat what you look like, little poppy seed?
Apprehensiontwisted my stomach.Thetiniest, most delicate, and extremely vulnerable poppy seed had been entrusted to my hands.Me—the black sheep of the family—the one who screwed everything up and constantly wreaked havoc.Themiddle of my chest squeezed.Whatevermistake nature had made by doing this,Isomehow didn’t want to let it down.Mostimportantly,Ididn’t want to fail my little poppy seed.
Istared at my belly, petrified.Itwas the first timeIfelt a sense of responsibility to do right by someone else rather than indulging in my selfish desires for an adrenaline high.
“Piya?” the doctor prodded, concerned about my extended silence. “Doyou not want those?”Shenodded at the pamphlets for alternate options whenIreturned them to her.
Itried to smile reassuringly. “Idon’t need those.”
Understandingcrossed her expression. “Doyou want me to provide you with some other information then?Fora healthy pregnancy, the first thingIrecommend is getting on prenatal vitamins.Wecan also schedule your ultrasound now.Theseappointments tend to get booked up.”Shecontinued listing the dos and don’ts while expecting.Ilistened carefully, nodding whenever she paused so she’d knowIwas paying attention.
Istood on shaky legs when she finished.Weheaded toward the door simultaneously.Iwanted to exit, and her goal was the small sink to wash her hands.
“Oh, andPiya.”
Ipaused at the door frame without turning to face the good doctor.
“Congratulations.”
Ifroze at the word, surprised she said it considering my initial reaction.Itwas only whenIglanced at the mirror over the sink didIrealize my mortification had vanished.Instead,Iappeared cathartic.
* * *
Ineeded a jumbo slice of a maple honey pecan pie.Satiatingmy pregnancy craving was the only thoughtIcould focus on while running inside the twenty-four-hour diner located on the ground floor of my new apartment building.Pregnancycravings didn’t start a week after conception;Isimply wanted pecan pie and needed a scapegoat to excuse my gluttony.
Iwas so preoccupied with thoughts of pecan pie thatIalmost missed the shadowy figure at the bar counter.Duskpeered through the window, covering the man with eerie highlights while he studied a plethora of paperwork.Hehad commandeered a good portion of the counter with his laptop and folders.
Icame to a screeching halt, stopping two feet from the man.
Ofall my wildest fantasies of running intoJayAmbaniagain, this one took the cake.Imeant it in the literal sense.Iwas salivating after a piece of pie and had on my go-to gorging outfit, an oversized t-shirt with stretchy gray sweatpants.Darkcircles surrounded my eyes, and my unwashed hair sat atop my head in a messy bun.
Meanwhile,Jaywas a vision of perfection.Hewore a dark gray suit tailor-made to fit his body.Hishair was neatly groomed, and so was every aspect of him, down to his nails.Iglanced at my own with dirt underneath the fingertips.
Whydidn’tItake better care of myself?
Iconsidered turning around, butJayhad already sensed my presence and glanced up.Myeyes widened while his remained neutral.
SinceMilan’swedding, my parents have encouraged me to reach out toJay.Ihad ignored their pushiness, busy mending my heart from theAxeldebacle.
Andto be honest,Jayunsettled me.Inever knew what to make of him.Reserved, formal, he had an air about him that made you question yourself.Ialways ended up blabbing like an immature idiot around him, grappling for a topic that might interest him.Whereashe listened patiently because his parents had raised him right.He’dnever tell a girl to shut up even if she was annoying, nor would he let on if he was bored with the conversation.Hedefinitely wouldn’t choke a girl during sex or indulge in the depravitiesIhad recently been exposed to withAxel.No, that would be much too impolite forJay.
Isighed mentally.
Thatday, it was supposed to beJayand me.Ifhe hadn’t left,Iwould’ve stayed focused onJayinstead of the stranger who had upended my life.Jaywould have used protection because it would’ve been impolite to knock me up before taking me out on a proper date.
Theblunder in my most recent mistake was written all over my attire.Thiswas by far the worst way of running into your former arranged-marriage prospect.Asit was too late to make a run for it,Idid the opposite.Istrode to the counter, pulled out the chair next to him, and plopped onto it without explanation.
“Piya.”Thewarmth inJay’stone shocked me, given my unruly attire.
“Hey,”Isaid meekly and glazed over the scattered paperwork, then met his eyes. “Thisis a nice surprise.”
Henodded slowly, eyes roaming my face. “Iwork nearby.”
“Oh.”Despitespending hours together atMilan’swedding, we never spoke again.Itseemed in poor taste to bring up how we had flirted shamelessly the last time we saw each other.Instead,Itook my cues from him and let him lead the conversation.
“Doyou live around here?”Heglanced over his shoulder and stared out the restaurant door of the bustling neighborhood ofEastVillage.
