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Iwas pregnant with his child becauseIwas careless about keeping my routine birth control shot appointments and didn’t use protection.
Iwas on the brim of losing the spectrum of hope to smooth things out with my family because once they found out about this most recent blunder, they’d shun me forever.
Ihad walked into this diner to gorge on a giant pecan pie and planned to blame it on pregnancy cravings, knowing full well it wasn’t the case.
Jay’sexpression was neutral throughout it all. “Doesthis man… does he know?” he finally asked.
Mytentative expression answered his question.
“Youdon’t know the baby's father well, and you’re worried about his intentions,” he phrased it as a statement rather than a question.
Icomposed myself. “Hecould be a good guy,”Isaid diplomatically.WhenJaydidn’t seem satisfied enough with my answer to stop staring,Ilet out a defeated sigh. “Idon’t know him very well,”Iadmitted.Itwas the truth.Therewas something undeniable withAxel, but spending a night with one person didn’t give you access to their thoughts.
Ichanced a glance atJayfollowing my confession.Nothing.Noreaction whatsoever.
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Aren’tyou going to reprimand me for getting knocked up by a stranger?Orat least give me false reassurances.”
Jayregarded me thoughtfully. “Iam thinking.”
Thinking?Thinkingof how one girl could cause this much trouble.Ifrowned but said nothing more.Ishamelessly ordered two slices of honey pecan pie when the server approached me.Jayasked the waiter to add it to his bill without leaving room for me to argue.Otherwise, he was quiet.
“Areyou still thinking?”Ichecked in after a while, to which he nodded.Hewatched me eat the pie.Ifhe was disgusted that a hundred-and-ten-pound girl could pack away two large slices, he showed no signs of it as he packed up his paperwork.
Jayleaned back in his chair, scrutinizing me. “Ifyou had to guess, do you think this man wants to be the father of your baby?” he asked at long last.
Avision ofAxelglaring at the children atMilan’swedding flashed through my mind.
HowwouldAxelreact to this news?
Notwell.
Hehad big plans for himself, and a kid didn’t fit into the mold of the fast-paced life of aDJ.
Theoretically,Axelcould step up to the plate, but then what?
Itmight start great, like every one of my past relationships.
Itmight also take a turn for the worse… like every one of my past relationships.
Iflife didn’t turn out the wayAxelwanted, his resentment would be directed at me for fucking up his future with a kid.It’ddestroy poppy seed’s childhood before he or she could explore it.Myinsides knotted at the thought, panic flaring as my arms instinctively wrapped around my middle.
Therewas a tiny creature inside me.Itwas pathetic that they weren’t even born, andIwas already failing them.Iswallowed, taking deep breaths to steady my trembling fingers.
Jaysuddenly took my shaking hands into his own, his strong hold stopping my fingers from quivering.
Theunexpected gentleness of his reassuring touch had a gasp tumbling out of my lips.Jaywasn’t an expressive man, nor hadIwitnessed him comforting anyone before.Hedidn’t owe me anything, let alone use up his rare display of emotions on me.
ThoughJayremained quiet as he tightly held my hand, it was the first timeIsensed the strength in his silence.Therewas a force to it that didn’t exist in words.
Itwas several minutes beforeJaybroke the silence.Irealized it was because my breathing had evened out, and the shuddering had subsided.
“Areyou all right,Piya?”
Inodded. “Toanswer your previous question,”Isaid quietly, “ifIhad to guess, the man in question has no interest in being a father.Ibarely know him, but—”Ibit my lip soIwouldn’t break down into tears.
