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I’dheldmy breath for 500 days, doing the dutiful things expected of a widow.LosingJaywas devastating for bothPoppyand me, but having the opportunity to live life to the fullest decreased the bitter blow.Insteadof focusing on the inevitable, we had spent an entire year sailing around the world onJay’syacht, doing the one thingJayloved most.Travelingand spending time with his family.
Itwas hard at times.Ittook a toll even with the full-time nurse we brought along, especially onPoppy, who hated watching her big, strong dad wither away.Jayhad both good and bad days, his spirit high at times and waning during others.
Inthe end,Jaywent out the way he always wanted to, with his family.PoppyandIhad cuddled up on either side ofJayfor a nap and had maneuvered each of his arms around our necks so we could lie on his chest.Thatwas how he passed away.Evenin death, he never let go, and his arms stayed looped around our necks.
Thedoctors said it was a medical fucking miracle.
SinceJay’sdeath, it had been days of sorrow, anger, and bitterness.Itfluctuated for bothPoppyand me.Duringour year abroad,Poppyfinished her required curriculum under the supervision of the tutor we brought along and officially graduated high school at the age of fourteen.Shewas applying for colleges and was currently attending a non-credit internship program inDC.
Poppyplanned to finish college by eighteen and start an internship atAmbaniCorpafterward.Itwas unlikely she’d becomeCEOovernight, but her papa had paved the path for success.Theboard members swayed byJayhad held firm withJay’sinterimCEO.Itwas an unspoken agreement that the position would be held untilPoppyhad finished college, completed an entry-level position atAmbaniCorp, and proved herself to the board.
Itwas difficult to havePoppyfly the nest so quickly, butIhad made peace and was confident in her abilities.Ineeded to believe in my daughter’s abilities to make the best decisions for herself.
Meanwhile,Levihad kept his promise and hadn’t letAxelcome near our family or destroy everyoneIloved.Wetraveled the world, andLevialerted us wheneverAxeltried tracking us down and put further obstacles inAxel’sway.Notto mention, we also had the law on our side.Arestraining order was issued for five hundred days, pending review for an extension.Wemanaged to keep the whole thing under wraps, and it hadn’t hurtAxel’sstatus.
Iknew the day would come when the restraining order would expire, andAxelwould come for me.He’dmake me pay for my betrayal and likely punish me for every dayIhad stayed away from him.IfIthought the previous lockdown was worse,Iwas confident it’d pale compared to what he’d do now.
That’swhyIwasn’t surprised to see the note on the fridge on the exact day the restraining order had expired.
Attenda rave
Goskinny dipping
Convincesomeone you’re from the future
Speakin a made-up language in public
Prankcall
Goskydiving
Jumpinto a taxi and scream, “Followthat car!”
Trespasson a private property
Therewas a message, and though it was unsigned,Iknew who it was from.
Wenever finished the list.
Ithad been 500NightssinceIlast saw him, thoughIhad felt his eyes on me since my return toAmerica.
Ihad only just arrived atJay’scondo inManhattanto clear it out.Myheels clacked against the hardwood floors asItook a few steps to inspect my surroundings.Icould feel his eyes on me and knew my stalker was somewhere close.Hewas watching me, waiting for my next move.
Ishould have been scared—petrified, in fact—but 500 days was too long to go without this feeling.Ihad been living with a dull numbness in my chest, and it was the first timeIhad felt alive in months.
Withoutthinking,Itook off at full speed, barely grabbing the list and my purse on the way out.Ididn’t look back, running onto a street with oncoming traffic like a mad woman.Chaosensued, and people screamed at me.
Ididn’t care.Ibarged into a cab and screamed,follow that car!
“Fuckyou,” the taxi driver yelled back.Hethrew me out, taking me for another ofNewYork’squirky personalities.
Ijumped into another cab rolling at a slow speed due to the traffic.Thedriver pumped the brakes and kicked me out.
Ittook frantic searching and three more taxis for one to finally bite.
“Please, sir,”Igushed to the man asIjumped in, “Followthat car.”Thistime,Ihanded a bunch of cash to the driver in hopes of tipping the scale my way.
Thecabbie shrugged and started following the random carIhad pointed out.Icouldn’t hold back any longer.Amanic laughter bubbled in my chest.Ithrew my head back and started laughing, unable to stop.
