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He nodded. “She took lessons from Gigi’s father for about a year before…before she got sick. Leukemia. It took her quickly. It was awful.” His eyes filled with tears and he gritted his teeth. Clearing his throat, he turned away and breathed deeply. “I can’t imagine anything harder than losing someone you love.”
A tear slipped down Tiffany’s cheek as she put the pieces of Dylan’s life together. His volunteering, his accommodating nature, his wanting to fix, and help, and make things better for her. She wrapped her arms around him and held him, wishing she could take away his pain.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“Me too,” he said, and the pain in his voice crushed her to pieces. He kissed her cheek, gazing into her eyes with so much emotion it felt like a living, breathing being. “You would have liked her.”
“I’m sure I would have. Dylan, why did you take me to the trapeze place today? Lorelei was so special to you…”
He was quiet for a moment, appearing deep in thought, looking at her and through her at the same time. “I feel connected to you in ways I haven’t ever felt connected to anyone else, and I guess I wanted to share her with you.”
“But—”
“Don’t,” he said sternly. “Don’t tell me you’re not a laundry list of things, because youareamagnificentlist of things. You’ve been hurt, and you have a life of your own. I get that. I respect it. You’re scared. I’m scared. You’ve got this nice, safe world you’ve created where you don’t have to worry about someone sleeping around behind your back, hurting or disappointing you.”
The mere fact that he understood her so completely made her breathe harder. She’d been walled off for so long, she never imagined anyone understanding how she had become so distant, and yet Dylan accepted her without question. She knew she could trust him with the rest of her past. “I have been hurt, but there’s more that I haven’t told you.”
“Nothing you say will convince me that I’m wrong about us.”
“I don’t want to convince you of that. I like us.” Her admission came fast and furious, shocking her, but Dylan was smiling so wide, it made her smile, too. “I just want you to know, in case I freak out or crawl back into my hole.”
“Or hide behind your phone?”
“Maybe,” she admitted. “You color outside the lines. You take time off to meet me for a cab ride—”
“Sedan ride,” he corrected.
She laughed. “You ordered a sedan, you took time last night from your friends and family, you…” She stopped herself, because this wasn’t about him. This was about her, and it was about time she owned up to that fact. “You call me on my shit, and you push me in ways no one ever has.”
“I’ve seen the end of life, Summers. It’s awful. It’s not peaceful or painless. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more times. I want to follow my heart and live life to the fullest, which is a terrible but true cliché. From the minute we left that bar together the first night, I was drawn to you by something much stronger than lust. You’re challenging for a guy like me, yes, but I’m challenging for you, and there’s much more to us than challenge. I want to grab the brass ring, and I want you to want that, too.”
“I know,” she said softly. “I feel it, too, and I want it. But I’m not good at this, Dylan. I do well with things with borders. Defined lines. Work is clear-cut. It’s easy for me. It’s understandable. And you…”
“Are anything but clear-cut.”
“Yes! You’re sex and fun and spontaneous moments all wrapped up into one incredible man. And I get so swept up in you, I worry…” She dropped her eyes to their joined hands.
“You worry…?” He dipped his head, meeting her gaze.
“I worry that if I lose control, if I allow myself to get swept up in us too often, the rest of my world will come undone.”
“Why? You’re still in control of everything.”
“No, not when you let someone else into your heart. Your heart is in control, not your mind.”
He smiled and leaned in closer, his breath becoming hers. “You let me into your heart?”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “As if you gave me a choice with all your…”
“Just say it,” he said with a devilish grin. “My big cock.”
“Oh God! See?” They both laughed. “You make me laughsomuch. You make mefeel, Dylan. It’s been a long time since I felt anything other than the drive to succeed.”
He splayed his hands, a teasing grin playing on his lips. “I’m a bastard. I see that now.”
She groaned.
“Babe, tell me the deep dark secret that has you all tied up in knots about us. You mentioned your ex…”
