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She’d never felt this depth of connection and love—not with her husband, and not with any other man. Had he felt this with Anne?
The very thought of his deceased wife yanked her from the moment and from his lips. She pulled back and stared at his handsome face. They were both pulling in quick breaths. His hair was mussed, and she could bet her lips were swollen.
She’d grown so close to him the past month, and they’d never spoken about Anne, even though her picture was in various rooms in the castle and sometimes his children brought her up. She didn’t want to be jealous of a deceased and angelic woman, but she wanted her love with Nolan to be unique, to be theirs, to not have a shadow in the room making a knot of jealousy grow inside her.
“Madeline,” Nolan moaned softly. “That was incredible.” He softly kissed her and then pulled back. “I wish I could kiss you all night long, but I’d better get out of here if I want to stay in control.” His smile was teasing, but his gaze was deep and heated.
“You’re right.” She all but jumped out of his arms, off the couch, and hurried to her door. He was right that they had to stay in control. She needed some time to wrap her mind around loving another woman’s husband. Jealousy was ugly and would taint the friendship and love she and Nolan had built together. She didn’t want to bring it up, didn’t want him to know what was fixated in her mind. She’d appear immature and selfish, and that wasn’t her.
Nolan stood from the couch. Madeline’s eyes widened as she appreciated how strong, tall, and manly he was. The king. The man she’d fallen in love with and had just kissed the dickens out of was the king. The king who mourned the loss of his perfect queen. Of course he still loved Queen Anne. How could he not? Everyone had revered the Queen Mother, and Nolan had been married to her for over thirty years. The sweetheart of a woman had been beautiful, pleasant, and was now immortalized.
Nolan strutted toward her. She’d always appreciated his confident walk, but she’d never seen him strut quite so smugly.
He stared down at her. “This is to be continued,” he said huskily, making her quiver inside. “When we’re not in your bedroom, it’s not late at night, and my exemplary self-restraint is firmly in place.” His smile was confident and alluring. “Let’s plan on kissing standing up next time. Maybe then I won’t want to throw any reservations in the garbage and kiss you for days and nights and weekends and holidays …”
Madeline wanted to laugh and cry. Nolan was incredible. She was in love with him, but he loved someone else.
Why were all these questions about Queen Anne surfacing right now?
Nolan cupped her jaw. She leaned into his hand, savoring his touch. Savoring him. He bent and kissed her once, twice, three times. Then he backed her into the wall and devoured her mouth with his. He deepened the kiss, and she forgot all her worries. Forgot her own name.
Madeline wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders, held him as close as possible, and returned kiss for kiss. She’d found heaven on earth.
Finally, Nolan yanked himself away. She couldn’t catch a breath, and he seemed to have the same problem. He released his hold on her, backed up a step, and folded his arms across his chest. She leaned into the wall, weak and so in love with him.
“Standing up while kissing is unfortunately not the solution. Maybe we can only indulge in public places?” He smiled, but it was crooked and she could see the pulse point in his neck going like mad.
She half-laughed. “I don’t know that there is a solution. Your kiss takes me to another dimension.”
“Heaven on earth,” he said huskily. She moistened her lips, and his gaze caught and held there. He unfolded his arms and eased closer, wrapping her up again. “Marry me.”
Madeline searched his gaze, her heart racing. Her thoughts scattered.
“Marry me … soon.” His voice became gravelly, and his blue eyes held her captive. That look and voice and his touch were more enticing than anything she’d experienced. Except for his kiss. His kiss was the most enticing experience on the planet.
Her legs threatened to give out, but thankfully he held her tight.
Marry him? It was insane and too fast and she didn’t even want to think about being queen, but … She’d be with Nolan. They would be a team. With him by her side, holding her hand, she could do anything, be anything.
“We can kiss the nights away and love and lift each other and our family and country throughout the days.”
Madeline swallowed and wanted to scream yes. Instead, she burst out, “Do you still love Queen Anne?”
It was the absolute wrong question to ask at this moment, but she had to know where he stood. Where they stood. Was she second best? How could she not be? Anne was the love of his youth, the mother of his children, the queen mother, the perfect and ideal woman.
Nolan blinked at her, and he did the absolute wrong thing in her mind. He released her, stepped back, and looked more tortured than when he’d claimed he was in abject misery, unable to hold her close.
Apparently thinking about his deceased wife was worse than that misery. She didn’t blame him, and she felt selfish and small, but she couldn’t marry him without knowing where things stood with them and with Anne.
“Of course I still love Anne,” he said softly. “I always will.”
Madeline pressed her lips together and nodded, appreciating his honesty even if it gouged her. She prayed she wouldn’t cry and have him know how deeply devastated she was. Her feelings were unfair to him, but she couldn’t bury how she felt.
“But Madeline…” He stepped closer, and his cedar and mint scent wrapped around her. “That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’m sorry I haven’t said the words. You asked me to take things slow, and that’s the opposite of what I’m doing by beseeching you to marry me. Forgive me, love. I’m so deeply and passionately in love with you I lose my head, forget I’m the level-headed king, and want to rush everything just to be with you.”
Madeline could only stare at him. He loved her, deeply and passionately, but of course he still loved Anne.
“I won’t lie to you and claim that Anne isn’t still in my heart. We were friends for years and slowly fell in love after college. We were together for many years, building a family and running a kingdom together. I can’t forget about her or not love her.”
