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Madeline understood, but it still was something to wrap her mind around. All she could do was nod.
“But I promise you there is plenty of room in my heart. My love for you feels like it’s bursting from me.” He paused as if searching for something, then said in a rush, “It’s similar to when you have a new baby, you see? You love each of your children with a deep and abiding love. You can’t comprehend or explain that love; it just expands in your heart, and you have more and more love to give.” He eyed her carefully. “You understand what I’m saying?”
Madeline wanted to cry. She had one child. Of course she didn’t understand how a parents’ love could expand and grow with each new child added to their family.
“I want to understand,” she said quickly before he tried to explain further. She’d been on the highest high kissing him and in his arms, and she hadn’t crashed completely, as he did love her. But she had to figure out how to share his heart with the beloved Anne.
“You do?” He eased closer and took her hand, bringing it to his lips and pressing a heated kiss to her palm.
Madeline wanted to sway into his arms and never leave him.
“I need to rest and process and … let’s just talk tomorrow, all right?”
He studied her. “You’ll be here tomorrow.”
“Where am I going to go?” She forced a smile. “Despite my reassurances to parliament that Naomi Rindlesbacher is nowhere in sight and not in contact with you, they’ve asked me to stay with you.”
“First thing parliament’s done right.”
She smiled. “Are you really going to go there?”
Nolan chuckled. “You know I’m teasing.” He blew out a breath. “I need to let you rest.”
She nodded, hoping he couldn’t read how conflicted and sick she was inside.
“Do you need me to slow down?” He held her hand to his chest. She could feel his lean muscles and his strong heartbeat. “On the kissing or the marriage talk?”
“Probably on both,” she whispered.
He straightened and pulled in a breath. “Well now, I hate that … But I’ll do whatever you need, love. Anything.” He studied her deeply, kissed her hand again and repeated, “Anything.”
Madeline had no idea what to say. He appeared fully invested in her. This was all on her to figure out where she stood next to Anne and how to commit to marriage and love without letting the jealousy of his wife and first love fester in her heart.
“Goodnight,” she managed.
“Night.” He released her hand and eased out the door. She shut it behind him.
He’d do anything, but he couldn’t give her his whole heart. It wasn’t his fault, but how could she reconcile her need to fully love him with his only choice—to split his heart?
Chapter Ten
Madeline had a very restless night. She prayed to know how to drop all the envious and selfish feelings. She wanted to love Nolan with all her heart. It wasn’t his fault that his wife had been amazing and perfect, whereas Madeline’s husband had been a flighty quitter who wasn’t committed to her or Chad.
Finally, at four a.m., she got sick of thrashing and turning in bed. She slipped out and dressed in Lady Fit workout gear. Thinking of her daughter-in-law made her smile with temporary relief from the stress she was feeling. She wanted to run the trail that circled the lake bordering the village of Greenville. Maybe she’d still hike with Nolan at six, or maybe she’d wear herself out, take a bath, and go back to sleep. She could even do the spa therapies upstairs by herself.
Madeline wasn’t upset with him; she simply needed time to wrap her mind around sharing Nolan’s heart. She wanted to be a team, longed to be married to him and nurture and love all of his children. Kiera especially seemed to need and adore her.
Tying her shoes, she walked out of her suite, down the hallway, and down the stairs. Two guards were coming up the stairs. Captain Levi and Lieutenant Mason Henson. These two were her favorites. She found herself wondering if Levi had a crush on darling Faith. Hmm. Matchmaking might be fun. She’d have to chat with Chad and Hope about that.
“Ms. Prescott,” Levi greeted her, dipping his head. “Are you all right?”
“Oh yes. I’m simply going on a quick run before my hike with the king.”
They exchanged a look. “We’ll follow you. Will you give us a moment to change so we can keep up?” Levi asked.
“No, please.” She held up a hand. Nolan had asked if she’d missed her freedom this past month. She truly hadn’t, but she needed some space right now. “I’m going to run the trail around the lake. The sun will be up before long. I’m not in any danger, and I just … need to be alone.”
Levi grimaced. “But you’re in our care, staying here at the castle.”
