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“Jack mentioned that too,” I comment.
Roisin is suddenly tugging on her hair as if literally trying to pull it out. “I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of all this. Connor on one side, Aimee on the other playing tug of war,” she says bitterly. “Why do I have to choose between them?”
“You seemed happier to see your sister,” I observe.
“But she’s lied to me more,” she counters. “Can I really trust her now? Even if what she’s saying is true, that she was only doing it to keep me safe, what’s to say she won’t do it again for the same reason?”
I nod along with her logic. “So it’s Connor you want to stay with then?”
“Ugh,” she whines so petulantly that I almost double-take. “But he’s such an asshole.”
There’s a beat before I begin to chuckle. Then, my chuckle turns into a hearty laugh. A second later, Roisin joins in, and her giggles instantly warm the space between us. It’s like music to my ears.
After everything we’ve been through, I think this moment might have been worth it. The way she dabs at her inner eyes, patting away the tears that threaten to fall, has me weak. Something in my stomach flips, and I suddenly feel lighter, as if my heart has grown wings and is now hovering somewhere in my chest or throat.
The evening begins to make its presence known in the city streets around us as our laughter fades.
“Where are we going?” Roisin asks suddenly.
I wince a little. “I don’t actually know.”
“So we’ve just been driving around then?” she says this as more of a statement than a question, but I nod along anyway.
“Where do you want to go?”
She thinks about this for a moment, and I can practicallyfeelher worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.
“You’ll ruin your mouth doing that,” I remark without taking my eyes off the road.
Roisin hits my arm playfully. “You didn’t even see.”
“What’s going on?”
She sighs heavily. “I’d like to go back to Julliard. Sleep in my own bed, you know?”
“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” I ask, recalling a previous conversation when she expressed how difficult it would be with all the reminders about Douglas Jones.
“Yeah. I know Doug was spying on me, but now I realize that didn’t mean he didn’t care for me,” she admits. “He lied to me, sure. But now… I guess I don’t feel guilty for mourning him anymore.”
A pang of pride echoes through my chest at Roisin’s revelation. At how far she’s come in only a few short days. I reach over to grab her hand and run smooth circles over it with my thumb.
“You know, I’ve never been to university before,” I joke to lighten the mood.
She smiles up at me brightly. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
***
The Juilliard campus essentially takes up the entire block next to the Lincoln Centre. It’s not difficult to find, and with Roisin’s passcodes, we’re able to park under the residence halls with ease.
It takes some wrangling to get through security, but with some choice words from Roisin to the concierge on our way up, we finally make it into the building.
A putrid cocktail of sweat, greasy cooking, and garbage hits us as we make our way down the corridors. But then, on more than one occasion, we pass apartments with loud, beautifully played music blasting through the doors. I try not to get too much whiplash as we reach our destination.
“So,” Roisin turns to me a little nervously. “Hopefully, my roommates are out, and I can just sneak you in, but if they’re there-”
“What, are you ashamed of me all of a sudden?” I tease.
“It’s more like they can be a bit of a handful,” she admits sheepishly. “I quite like having you around, especially if it means I can avoid my siblings for a little longer. But…”
