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“I guess you’re right,” I concede with a humorless smile.
There’s a pause while I’m held up at a red light. The turning to the warehouse was about three lights ago, but I can still loop around. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
“Did you take it?” Roisin asks suddenly.
It takes me a second to remember what she’s referring to. “You think I should leave your brother?”
She doesn’t respond, merely turning away to look out the window again. I mentally kick myself. That’s not the kind of question I should put on her right now. She has her own stuff to deal with.
“Connor and I…” I begin with a sigh. “We rebuilt the Maguires from the ground up. Backing out on him now would do more harm than good. Especially if Connor finds out it’s for Jack Duffy. Besides… he’s an asshole sometimes, but he’s my friend. I couldn’t betray him like that.”
“You invested a lot into him,” Roisin murmurs.
“It’s like you said, I don’t really care about money,” I point out. “But, I suppose in terms of time and energy, yes, I’ve made a lot of sacrifices to help your brother.”
“Like agreeing to marry me?”
I swallow hard. “Roisin. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. But trust me when I say you are not one of them.”
I don’t dare look at how she takes this revelation. But there is a strain to her voice that makes me wonder how much my words affected her. “Then what?”
“I’m the head of the organization. I may not be the most accomplished leader, but I should care about the people who work for me. I shouldn’t throw that all away on a whim.”
“Then why does it sound like you’re trying to talk your way out of it?” She counters, and I stiffen.
Trust Roisin to see right through me.
When Jack offered me the position, my first thought wasn’t to reject the offer. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The idea of no longer having to compete with Connor’s ego, that people might stop looking to me for answers… That I wouldn’t have to second guess myself every moment. It sounded perfect.
“I’m not a leader, Roisin,” I finally admit. “I know it makes sense for me to be the Don of the Maguires with Connor, but… I just don’t have his authority. People do what I say because I can manipulate them. Connor draws respect from every room he walks into.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Roisin says quietly.
I offer her a defeated smile. “Thank you, but it is.”
“No, I mean,” she tries again. “I don’t think you understand how much people admire you. When we walk around the warehouse, people literally stop what they’re doing to acknowledge your presence.”
“They’re just nosy fuckers,” I say with a shake of my head.
But Roisin stays firm. “It’s more than that. They want you to notice them, they want your approval. I’m not saying you’re a leader like Connor is—you’re something else entirely. But I don’t think that anyone would ever question your authority.”
I take a moment to stew on her words. It’s quite annoying how insightful Roisin can be at times. There are so many perceptions of myself that she’s already pulled up by the roots and thrown to the side.
It takes me a moment to shake my musings off. My mouth twitches in an ironic smirk. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not a strategist, Roisin. I’m an assassin. What use am I to anyone if not to kill on demand?”
“You think Jack would use you like that?”
“You know it’s funny,” I reply. “I offered my services to him in exchange for that meeting. I have a strict code, and it’s rare I hand out things like that. I was half expecting him to name someone when we sat down.”
If Roisin is shocked by the revelation, she doesn’t show it. “Didn’t he?”
“No, he told me I was off the hook. That, if anything,heowedmefor keeping you safe.”
“I guess he must really love my sister then,” Roisin says, her voice dimming a little as she resigns herself to this truth.
I don’t want to push her, but the curiosity within me gets the better of me. “What did you guys talk about?” I ask carefully, giving her enough room with my tone to back out of a response.
She sighs and runs a hand through her long, auburn hair. “Everything. She wants me to go to their bunker.”
