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My body shakes with the effort of getting the air out of my lungs. My heart must have come loose; the sound of it pumping reverberates around my chest in seemingly numerous locations. Flooding my senses with its anxious beat.
I’m going insane. It’s finally happened, something has snapped and I’m losing my mind. It would be funny if I could breathe enough to laugh, but there’s so little air in my lungs I’m struggling not to faint as it is.
There’s nothing I can do but sit here. Sit here and wait for the sun to completely set.
I count the notches on the concrete wall opposite. Wonder how they got there? Did the construction worker make a mistake? Or did someone come up here and chisel away for their own amusement.
Finally, after what seems like eons, my breathing returns to a steady, if slightly unconfident, pace.
Granting myself a few moments to recompose myself, I check the scope again.
Eddie sits alone on the couch, scanning through TV channels with mild interest. The little girl and her backpack have gone.
My hands automatically reach up to adjust the dials.
“Fuck it,” I hiss to no one but myself as I stand up and pack everything away.
***
The apartment door swings open too easily.
I can hear the TV in the next room as I enter quietly, hoping not to disturb the inhabitants. There’s so little lighting; everything is bathed in blue, with flashes of yellow, red, and green filling the space in time with the images on the screen.
I cling to the shadows. Silently I maneuver through the apartment, passing through the kitchen, baking utensils piled up in the sink. A half-eaten plate of cookies rest on the bench to be finished another day.
Before me is the lounge. The back of Eddie’s head can be seen just above the couch, his hand draped over the back, holding a burning cigarette.
I could take him out from here, keep my hands clean. But something compels me forward.
If he notices me, he doesn’t say anything. Even as I perch on the arm of the couch, he merely sighs.
“Is this it then?”
With everything and nothing running through my mind, I momentarily forget what I’m doing and why I’m here. I don’t respond.
He stares at his lit cigarette without smoking it. “Figures.” The light from the TV illuminates his aging face. A wildlife documentary is playing, I realize. “At least it was a good day.”
“You don’t sound surprised,” I find myself saying as we watch a bird of paradise fly across the screen.
“There’s only one way you leave Eda Romero,” he replies as easily as if we’re discussing the documentary itself. “I’m grateful for the time I’ve had here.”
Something twists in my stomach. “Was that your granddaughter?”
For the first time, Eddie turns to look at me.
“Leave her out of this.” His voice is as black as death itself. I don’t need my notes to know this man is dangerous.
I nod slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements. “You have my word.”
But if anything, his expression only turns darker.
“We all have people we love,” I continue, looking back at the TV. “There are so few opportunities in this line of work to do the right thing.”
“I gave up puzzling out the difference between right and wrong a long time ago,” Eddie comments coolly. “A smart man will only ever do what makes him happy.”
“Harming your granddaughter would not make me happy.”
Eddie seems to sit on this for a moment. “And me?”
