Page 118 of My Noble Disgrace


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The next timeI saw sunlight, it was only for a moment.

When the carriage finally opened, the dome of the Academy loomed over me, but before I could even blink, the Enforcers blindfolded me and pulled me to my feet. My bumpy ride through the city had me bruised and aching, but it was the visions of death and the men lost that pained me. I couldn’t stop envisioning the burning boat, the black smoke, and bodies sinking into the water.

I was dragged forward, stumbling in my blindfold. The outside air soon changed to musty indoor air. Someone pulled me by the elbow down spiraling stone steps, my feet striving to keep up while blinded. I bumped into the wall, repeatedly tripping while trying to find each uneven stair.

We descended deeper, the air growing cold and dank. My skin shivered under my wet uniform, chilling me to the bone. It smelled like a grotto down here but without a breeze or the enlivening rhythm of waves. It wasn’t as offensive as the other prison I’d been kept in, with its rotten fish and sewage aroma, but it stunk of captivity all the same.

Eventually, the stairway ended and the whine of rusty hinges broke the silence.

Someone fiddled with my handcuffs while another hand pulled off my blindfold. Before I could register the scene, I was shoved into a dark, windowless cell, the solid door closing behind me and blocking out all light.

I blinked, disoriented, but it was too dark for my eyes to adjust. I sat on the floor of the cell, wishing for just a single candle to see by. I didn’t know what was in this room. I didn’t know if there was a mattress or a chamber pot or anything. All I could do was find my way with my hands, trying to orient myself in the perfect darkness.

My body trembled from the cold. I felt the dusty stone floor, searching blindly on my hands and knees until I came to a wall. I continued to fumble around the entire room but found no hint of softness, no bit of warmth, and no sliver of light.

I’d somehow believed I could get to the arsenalandsave Keane and the outlaws. I’d thought I could get what I wantedandbe good.

But I’d utterly failed at both.

I was alone, and I was cold, and I was beaten.

If I could denounce Cael and unearth the truth of all he’d done and the myriad of ways he’d been complicit in betrayal and murder, he couldn’t possibly keep his power. The Cambrian Academy would rip him apart if they found out he’d killed their beloved Cardiff Pearce and been integral in the abduction and violence toward Graham. They admired Cael, but only because they were ignorant of the truth. He’d gone too far, even by the Academy’s standards, and I’d reveal it all if I only could.

But Cael was certain to keep me locked away, preventing my voice from ever being heard. He didn’t want my confession. He’d likely never intended to take me to the arsenal, either. He’d only wanted to use me, as he did everyone.

I needed everyone to know the harm he’d done.

Graham knows, I told myself. The thought was the only shred of comfort I could find in this room.

I hugged my arms around my shivering body and leaned against the wall of the stone cell, waiting for my next glimpse of light.

Chapter

Thirty-Two

Days passed in the dark,countless hours coming and going with no change but a bit of food and water sent through a slot in the door by a silent guard.

I ate in the darkness. I slept in the darkness. I cried in the darkness.

The only way I could even attempt to track time was the number of meals slid through the door, though they didn’t seem to come with any regularity. After twelve of them, I started to wonder if anyone would ever come for me. Graham had promised he was on my side, but even he didn’t have the power to release me if Cael didn’t allow it. And I honestly didn’t know if Cael would ever let me see the light of day again.

I lay on the floor on my side, trying to escape into sleep. Right when I started to believe I’d wither away to nothing in the darkness, the door opened.

I sat up. Though I’d been dreaming of light, I couldn’t bear to look at it. I put up my arm in defense, shielding my eyes from the harshness that stung my eyes and made me aware of my disheveled appearance.

Two figures stood in the doorway.

I blinked, waiting for my eyes to adjust. They stung and protested as if they’d forgotten light existed.

One figure stepped in and crossed the cell to the corner where I sat. He knelt on the ground in front of me, his back to the door, and reached out a hand.

“It’s you,” I said as my eyes finally allowed me to see Graham’s face. I spoke softly, trying to keep my words quiet. “I hope you’re here to save me because I could really use some saving right about now.”

I didn’t want to be seen this way—a filthy prisoner not even worthy of light, but he searched my face as if I was everything he’d wanted to find. “I still have to pretend,” he whispered. “Forgive me.”

His gentle touch turned firm and he tugged me up by the arm, pushing me toward the guard in the doorway. “Handcuff her.”

The man did as Graham said, then directed me down a torchlit hall. Every muscle in my body ached from my days spent languishing on the stone floor, but I’d never been so glad to be moving.

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