Page 136 of My Noble Disgrace


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The boat jolted forward, Cael at the helm. I didn’t know where he planned on taking us, but with the speed we could travel, we could go to just about any island in the archipelago, and he would be back to Cambria in no time.

The enormous door over the water began to lift on its own accord, each steel slat rolling in on itself.

A dark, gaping tunnel opened behind it.

I hoped none of this was real, but I no longer had the sense to tell the difference.

The boat started forward into the cavern, beams of light emanating from the bow to guide us through the long, dark tunnel. As we retreated from the arsenal, its strange light fadedaway into the distance behind us, leaving my father behind in his final resting place.

At the end of the tunnel, the boat slowed, its lights landing on a smooth silver door that filled the entire space ahead of us.

Cael spoke a single command, another Latin phrase, but I was far from the right mental state to absorb the meaning.

A horizontal gap of light appeared at the base of the doors, gradually widening as it lifted upward and outward, revealing the ocean ahead. The sunset glowed pink, casting everything in a haze that should’ve been beautiful, but the color of the bright red sun on the horizon only made me think of my father’s blood in the water.

I was sure nothing would ever be beautiful again.

We traveledon the ocean for hours, continuing far beyond nightfall. The boat’s lights illuminated our path through the waters, and familiar constellations shone overhead, offering their guidance as they always did, but with this technology, we didn’t need stars.

Whatever our destination was remained a complete mystery.

I wasn’t sure if I dozed off or if my mind abandoned my body to its pain, but at some point, I came to and saw clouds in a blue sky instead of stars, and dark blue waves instead of darkness. I only heard the low hum of the boat and the sound of the bow slicing through the waves.

Graham’s head drooped as he appeared to sleep, his hands cuffed to the cleat over his head.

I hoped he was finding peace in his sleep. I hoped it was a world that didn’t want to control him, overrule him, and take away everything he loved.

Tears filled my vision, and I buried my face in my knees, letting them flow.

I didn’t understand how all our efforts had come to this. After all we did, after all I’d tried, with Graham’s goodness and my determination, we’d still lost to an enemy who was willing to kill a man who loved him like a son.

Cael’s hands gripped the wheel, but his body sagged. He looked not only exhausted but defeated, as if he, too, had lost a battle.

I couldn’t begin to feel sorry for him.

A voice spoke from the radio in his belt. “Come in, Immortal Ruskin. When might I expect?—”

Cael reached down abruptly and switched it off, silencing the man who spoke.

There was something familiar about the voice. My instincts told me he’d been part of the previous day’s nightmare.

Eventually, after I thought we’d never stop, the boat began to slow.

I got to my knees and took in the scene.

An island I’d never seen dominated the horizon to the south, the morning rays lighting up the sand and the trees. It was smaller than any occupied island I knew of, and there were no signs of settlement—no homes, no smoke, no noise.

We approached the shore, my eyes fixed on the island.

I realized then the full cruelty of banishment. I’d sometimes envied those on Tramore, wishing I could have the islander life. But it had been different—they’d had a community in place for years, with family, friends, homes, and food. This place had nothing.

I wished, with all the longing of my heart, that my father was here. I’d take his gruffness, his lies, his manipulation. I’d take every flaw if it meant I had him back.

“I forgive you,” I whispered to myself as I cried. I couldn’t claim he’d done anything to earn my forgiveness, but the pain was overwhelming and there was nowhere to put it. As I looked up at the sky, I remembered my first time sailing with my father, experiencing the majesty of the ocean, the freedom he’d provided me time and time again.

He had rarely been sweet. He had rarely understood me. And he had been so far from honest.

But, despite his many flaws, I still craved his love and respect, and my love would continuously flow toward the large, empty space where he used to be.

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