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I have made a big promise. All I have to do now is make sure I deliver. Now I’m nervous. Not only because I have to back up my words with action and results, but because I don’t want to let Travis down. I don’t allow myself to dwell too much on that impulse because thinking about it too long will force me to examine why I feel that way. And that won’t be good for anybody.
10
TRAVIS
That’s it. I’ve made my decision. I can’t keep going back-and-forth with myself. I have tried to take Clark’s advice to heart. That’s why I haven’t made another move on Paige. It’s been a month since our conversation on the golf course, but nothing has changed between us. I have tried, really, I have. However, I am not able to get her out of my blood.
I know she wants me. What I don’t know is just how much. Does she want me enough to be with me? I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.
Everything happens in such a blur. First, I grab myPorschekeys. The next thing I know I am double parked outside Paige’s apartment. I don’t care if I get a ticket or even get towed. What I need to do is more pressing than any of that.
It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday evening. So chances are the Paige isn’t even home, but I still have to try.
I get out of my car and race up the steps to her front door. I take them two at a time. Once at the top, withoutstopping to take a breath, I press her doorbell twice in rapid succession and wait.
I am starting to think no one is home when I hear movement from within the brownstone. A moment later, the front door opens. Standing in front of me, barefoot and in nothing but a silk robe is Paige. Her hair is in a messy bun piled on top of her head.
She looks like she just rolled out of bed and isn’t happy about it. Her eyes are murderous at first, but when she sees it’s me, they soften.
“Travis, what are you doing here?” She rubs sleep from her eyes.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I need to talk to you.”
“Okay…” She steps out of the way and I walk into her house.
We stare at each other in her foyer for a long while. I look over her shoulder and get a glimpse of her living and dining rooms from where I’m standing. From what I can see, she’s put a lot of thought into the decor, and she has done an astounding job because her home feels like her. It’s sophisticated yet homey with modern but warm furniture in various shades of green, brown, black and white.
“What’s going on? Why won’t you look at me?” she asks.
I offer a weak chuckle. “I guess I’m nervous.”
“Nervous about what?” She pulls her robe tighter around her midriff, causing the material to open a little at the top, revealing more of her breasts. I can’t help it, my eyes dip down and I am transfixed. She snaps fingers in my face. “Hey! What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” I run a hand through my hair. “Paige, I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“What?” Her face goes blank.
“Yeah. Ever since I met you, you’re all I can think about. Ihad hoped it would die down after a while, but it hasn’t. It’s been months now but I can’t get you out of my head.”
“Oh…” The way she says that isn’t so encouraging, but I press forward.
“I know we said that night in your office was a one-time thing, but I want to ask you, do you feel the same way about me that I do for you? Even a little?”
She looks up at me silently for a long while. If it weren’t for her shoulders moving up and down with each breath she takes I would probably think she had been turned to stone. I take a step closer to her. “Look, if you don’t feel the same way about me, just say it. It’s fine. I can take it.”
She breathes deep then says, “I do feel the same way about you.”
I release a breath I hadn’t even been aware I was holding. “Well then, I think that since we both have such intense feelings toward each other maybe we should try this out and see what happens?”
She retreats from me until her back hits the wall behind her. “I don’t know.”
“What are you worried about?”
“Many things. First of all, we work together. In fact, you’re my boss. Things could get very complicated professionally if things don’t work out between us. There’s also the age difference. We are both in very different places right now. At the moment I am not playing around in my love life. I’m dating to marry. I was hoping to end up with someone more similar to myself in age because I would like to have children someday. I don’t know where you stand on all those things.”
“I’m not going to lie to you and say I intend to get married to and have kids with you. All I know right now isthat I want you.”
“That’s exactly what I’m not doing anymore. I’m not leaving things up to chance like I did when I was younger. I made a promise to myself that I wasn’t even going to casually date anyone who didn’t want the same things as I do.”
