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Interestingly enough,I’m not freaking out as much as I thought I would, because although I want this baby, this is a life changing event. I want to raise this baby with Travis. However, I’m not sure that he would want to do this with me. I still don’t know really how he feels about me. Although he has been so affectionate toward me, I have come to learn a lot about his past.
In his youth, Travis was the quintessential bad boy. He worked hard and played harder. His 20s and 30s were filled with a revolving door of women and booze. He only settled down when he got married. The women stopped, but the party did not. He only mellowed after the divorce. I fear that that wild part of him is still bubbling beneath the surface, ready to return at any moment. From time to time I see glimmers of that version of him and I don’t know what to think about it.
Plus, like I said, I don’t know how he feels about me. I think he loves me like I love him, but for all I know, I could just be another fling to him.
I quickly realize I cannot tell him about the baby. Not yet. I have a few months before I will start showing. I’ll use that time to see what there really is betweenTravis and me. Of course, I will tell him eventually, but I’m sure if I tell him now, he will feel pressured into making a commitment to me and this baby. If he’s going to do that, I want him to do it because he wants to, not because he feels obligated.
I’m going to take my time to navigate this maze, because if I fuck this up, I don’t get a redo.
12
TRAVIS
“Bonjour Mademoiselle,” I greet Paige with my arms spread wide open as she steps out of her house.
When she sees me standing in front of the limo I hired she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Paige isn’t much of a morning person.
I run up the stairs and give her a quick kiss then help her with her bags. Once I have all her luggage secured into the trunk of the limo I help her into the vehicle. I climb in after her and we’re off to JFK.
I have a bottle of champagne on ice waiting for us in the back of the limo.
“Let the birthday festivities begin!” I say as I reach for the champagne, but Paige stops me.
“Actually, I’ve gone off alcohol.”
My eyebrows draw together. “Since when?”
“Since last week.”
“Why? And why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s just something I’ve been thinking about for a while. There are a few people in my life who have given up alcohol,and they swear that their lives are so much better.” She shrugs. “So I want to give it a try.”
“Okay… That’s fine. We also have nonalcoholic champagne.” I reach into the mini fridge and pull a bottle out, uncork it and fill our flutes.
“Cheers…” I hold my glass up to hers and she clinks it.
“Thank you for this. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course. Anything for you.”
She looks at me contemplatively for a moment then downs her drink. She sets her empty glass aside and claps her hands together with a huge smile on her face.
“So what do you have planned for us for the week?”
“I’m not telling you. I told you it’s a surprise.”
She pouts. “I hate surprises.”
“Well, too bad. I want to see the look on your face when you see everything I have planned. That will be my gift.”
“I hate you.”
I chuckle. “No, you don’t.”
She rolls her eyes at me, but moves into my lap and cuddles close to me, proving exactly what I just said.
We sit like this until we arrive at JFK. We are driven straight onto the tarmac and park at the foot of my jet.
