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“No, he said he wants to raise the baby with me, but weeks after.”
She squeezes my hand. “Paige, you are my first born. You know I love you more than anything else on the face of this planet, but you are too stubborn. That’s something you should work on.”
“Hey!”
“Yes, honey. You’re being too harsh on Travis. That man loves you in a way that I rarely ever see. You can’t hold it against him because he went from being a bachelor with no kids to being in a serious relationship with two kids in a matter of weeks. That’s enough to throw anyone for a loop. You can’t really hold his reaction against him. I wasn’t there when you told him, but whatever he did, I’m sure he was in shock.”
“I know you’re probably right, but I have to think of my baby and I have to do what’s best for him or her. I can’t experiment with my child’s life to see whether Travis will rise to the occasion. That’s just not a risk I’m willing to take.”
Mom chuckles. “Those are your maternal instincts talking. Although they are not wrong, you have to balance them with reason. Let me ask you, do you ever want to be in a relationship? Like, a long term relationship?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Then let me be the first to tell you that all this between you and Travis is small beans. When you’ve been in a relationship with someone for long enough, they will do things that are going to irritate and offend you. You also will do things to them that irritate and offend them. You’re going to have to learn to work through these things. You can’t run away every time things get hard.”
“I know that, but he lied to me…”
“I don’t think you’re hearing me. There will be even harder things that you will have to work through with your partner. Real relationships aren’t all sunshine and roses. You just have to be mature enough to take a step back and look at the motivations behind why they did what they did. It doesn’t seem like Travis lied to you from a place of malice. He was nervous. I think that’s something you can forgive.”
“I don’t know…”
“Sweetheart, look at me.” I look her in the face. She shakes her head and gestures to her whole body. “No, really look at me. I’ve been forced to confront my mortality recently and let me tell you, a lesson I’ve learned is that life is short. You have to grab your happiness wherever you can find it. Try not to sweat the small stuff, because at the end of the day, none of that really matters. If Travis had violated you, I’d be the first person to request his head on a spike, but that’s not what happened. I think you’re scared, and fear is not a good enough reason to turn your life upside down. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Plus, take it from me, a woman whose husband was a hands-on co-parent. Being a single parent isn’t easy. I almost went mad raising you kids and that was with help. I wouldn’t do that alone if I didn’t have to. It’s just something to consider.” She shrugs.
After this speech I return to my chair and continue pretending to read. The whole time Mom’s words replay in my head. The longer I mindlessly flip through the pages the more what she said sinks in.
Have I made a mistake? Was I too hasty when I ended things with Travis? Is it too late to fix things?
Right now I have no idea what I am going to do.
22
TRAVIS
Paige,
I love you. I am not letting you go without a fight. You mean everything to me and nothing would make me happier than to raise a family with you.
Love,
Travis.
I placethe card in its little envelope and tuck it into the first bouquet of flowers that I’m having the florist deliver to Paige in about 30 minutes. Then I head home and wait.
When she woke up this morning, I’m sure she thought today was going to be like any other regular Sunday. How wrong that assumption would be.
The hugest smile is stretched across my face as I sit in my living room picturing how she will receive my gesture. Every surface, and possibly the entire floor in her living room is going to be covered with huge arrangements of the most beautiful red roses.
I’ve arranged it so that starting at 9 o’clock this morning, three dozen roses will be sent to her door every 30 minutes.
It’s now 1 o’clock in the afternoon and the flowers haven’t stopped. I’m parked about a block away from her door when I see another delivery man ring her doorbell with my last gift.
She answers the door with a smile on her face. It grows wider when she sees the man struggling to stay upright, holding a behemoth of a life-size, light brown teddy bear.
She signs for it and wrestles it into her house.
It’s time. I get out of my car and start walking. My legs actually shake as I go. Once I climb up the stairs to her brownstone, I take a deep breath and ring the bell.
When she opens the door I am almost knocked off my feet as the delicious smell of rose hits me in the face and Paige stands before me in a floor-length pink silk robe and fuzzy slippers with her hair up in a bun.
