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She levels me with another hard look. “The next words out of your mouth better not be a lie.”
I snap my mouth shut.
Was I going to lie?
I don’t even know anymore.
Tasia steps forward and places her hands on my shoulders. “Lil, you already know how I feel about you and Seth. But onlyyoucan decide how to proceed with your marriage. However, don’t fuck around. That’s not cool. If you’re done, be done. But make it clear. Don’t fuck with his heart.”
I shake my head. “I wasn’t—”
“Youare.” Again with the pointed look.
“Fuck,” I mutter. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“That much is obvious.”
Tears threaten to spill over as I take a deep breath and raise my eyes to hers. “What do I do?”
Her expression turns sympathetic. “Honey, you’re the only one who can answer that.”
I huff out a humorless laugh. “I can’t.”
“You’ll have to. You owe it to everyone to figure it out,” she whispers, pulling me into a hug.
“Maybe I shouldn’t be working with London …”
Tasia snickers. “And how does that feel?”
Like a jab to the heart.
A kick in the shin.
Like all oxygen has left my body.
“Awful,” I answer honestly.
She nods as she steps back. “I figured as much. Look, nothing has to be figured out this red hot minute. You haven’t cheated. Nothing happened. So, go home. Take a bath, drink some wine, and think about things. At least all this alone time you seem to have can offer you that. Ask yourself if you want to stay with Seth. If so, why? If not, would you rather break up so you can pursue London?” I make a move to speak but she places her hand over my mouth and continues, “If so,why?Just play out the thoughts and see which one feels right.”
She removes her hand from my mouth and I take a moment to consider her advice.
“Yeah, that feels …right,” I whisper, taking a deep breath. “I should think about it all.”
She pats me on the shoulder and smiles. “Good. Now, get out of here so I can do my job.”
I heave a sigh, my head still swirling through the day’s events. “Okay, thank you, Tash.”
She spins me around and forces me back the way we came. “You know I’m here for you.”
“I know.” My words are barely a whisper as I move automatically toward the storefront.
When we reach the checkout counter, Tasia moves toward the register and I head for the door.
“Lily,” she calls out, making me pause. “For what it’s worth, I like London. At least, what I’ve seen of him. I just don’t want to see the two of you fuck things up because you’re not thinking with the right heads.”
“Yeah, me, too.” I shoot her a lopsided smile and walk out.
The light breeze coming off of Lake Superior is enough to keep the late May afternoon from being overly warm. If anything, it’s trying hard to remind anyone on the hillside that winter still owns this town, even if summer is inevitable.
