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“Have you decided if you would like to know the sex of the baby today?”
My mouth popped open as my mind whirred. “Um... I...” My eyes flicked to Duke, who looked at me expectantly. We hadn’t talked about it, and I was kicking myself for not being brave enough to bring it up earlier.
He studied my face and then turned to the doctor. “We’re still undecided but would like the option.” He looked around the small room. “Could I borrow a piece of paper?”
Dr. Hokum regarded the hulk of a man taking up a whole lot of space in the small exam room, and she smiled before swiveling her stool toward the counter. From a drawer, she pulled out a pad of paper and a pen and handed it to Duke. He quickly scrawled something on the paper and handed it back to her.
She looked down and smiled. “Not a problem.” When she repositioned herself, she adjusted the monitor. “If you look away, I will do some final measurements, and we’ll be all done here.”
I turned my head away from the monitor, and Duke moved to the opposite side of the exam table. He crouched next to me so that we were eye level, but he couldn’t see the screen.
“What did you write?” I asked.
A smile teased his lips. “You’ll see.” His large hand tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Just try to relax.”
It took only a moment for Dr. Hokum to click off the monitor and begin wiping the gel off my belly before fixing the robe to cover me. “All set. The baby is growing right on track. All of the physical traits we look for appear to be developing typically.” Her smile bloomed. “No concerns.”
I exhaled, deeply comforted by her words. She folded the small piece of paper into fourths and handed it to Duke. He took it and stuffed it into the pocket of his flannel shirt.
“I sent a few of the pictures to the front desk, so you can pick them up there.” Dr. Hokum’s kind smile was reassuring as she pumped a bit of antibacterial foam onto her hands and rubbed it in. “Have a lovely Christmas, and we will see you next month. Good luck.”
Duke helped me to sit up, and I redressed quickly. Together we walked to the front desk, where I made my next appointment, and the receptionist handed me our sonogram pictures. I looked down, tracing the outline of our baby’s nose. I peered up at Duke.
“What?” he asked as I paused in the vestibule.
I grinned. “Nothing. Just trying to figure out if the baby has your nose or mine.”
Duke bit back a smile as a muscle in his jaw worked. He fussed with my coat, drawing it over my shoulders and pulling itaround my belly. My hair was tangled in the soft scarf I’d thrown on, and Duke’s rough hands scooped behind my neck to free it.
Duke reached to grab his coat off the hook, and I was entranced by such a simple, innocuous gesture. He was all smooth movements and confident strides.
I placed my hand over his pec. “No peeking without me.”
Duke leaned down to drop a kiss on my cheek. “I wouldn’t dare.”
Gripping onto his arm, I let Duke walk me to my car and bundle me inside. He insisted I follow him straight home, because the roads were looking slicker than they had before the appointment. Truth was, I was relieved to have a little space from him after such an emotional ultrasound. I couldn’t trust myself not to fall at his feet and finally admit how hopelessly in love with him I was.
But I couldn’t do that. Not yet.
Things between Duke and me were going well, but once the baby was born, there was no more living inside our quiet little bubble. Sooner or later I was going to have to decide whether I could give up on my dream of leaving my hometown and starting over in Savannah, when every day that passed made it harder and harder to remember why I’d ever wanted to leave.
TWENTY-SIX
DUKE
Metal scraped against ceramic,and it was the only sound that filled the dining room. I sneaked a glance to my right and noticed Sylvie’s warm eyes were downcast to her plate. She shifted in her seat and pushed the untouched food around in circles. She looked as though she was a half second from bolting to the door and escaping into the wintry mix of freezing temperatures and whipping December wind.
I felt about the same.
Despite the fact that it felt like my soul was being sucked through my eyeballs on Christmas Eve, I was only here for Sylvie. Doing it for her.
She was twenty-one weeks pregnant and had a glow about her that seemed to light up every corner of my house. As the days passed, I realized that this feeling—this warmth and poking tenderness beneath my ribs—was so much more than just friendship or impending fatherhood. Every night I curled around her and wished things could have been different. That instead of a Sullivan and a King, we could have just been two people who collided and were tumbling into this adventure together.
But those ridiculous thoughts were locked up—stashed away like precious treasures I wouldn’t show the world. No one around here would understand it anyway.
Thanksgiving apart had been miserable, and based on the number of new holiday decorations that seemed to show up at the house every day, I had a sneaking suspicion that Christmas was important to Sylvie.
Memories of Mom flooded my brain—she had always loved Christmas too. Even in the lean years, she took pride in picking out the perfect gift for everyone. I realized now that my parents likely went without in order to make those Christmas mornings so memorable.
