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“Without you, I’d be lost. I’d be complacent. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.” He gets down on one knee and pulls a box out of his pocket.
I wasnotexpecting this. From the looks of it, she’s genuinely surprised as well. Her jaw hits the floor.
“Will you marry me?” he asks.
She scans the crowd for a second, while everyone erupts in cheers and gasps. She stops on my face. Of all faces, she chooses my shocked at best, horrified at worst, face. Shit. Did I just fuck this up, too, by being here right now? I should have stayed on the balcony. Maybe I should have stayed home.
I muster up an enthusiastic expression, at least that’s what I hope it looks like, and give her a couple of dorky thumbs-ups, and start clapping, too. She turns back to Garrett and tells him yes. They kiss, the ring goes on, and he shows it to the crowd.
“That…was…weird,” says Balcony Guy from behind me. What was his name again? Justin? No, wait, it was Jordan.
“What do you mean?” I ask him.
“I mean, maybe I’m wrong, but your girl looked pissed.”
Did she? Maybe I wasn’t paying close enough attention. I know she was surprised, for sure. Does she hate being put on the spot like that? Absolutely. Maybe she was pissed.
“No way,” I tell him anyway. “She’s totally happy. They’re happy.”
“Okay…you would know,” he says, shrugging, and wanders off towards a friend motioning to him in the distance. IthinkI would know.
Afterward, Evie is completely overrun by a revolving door of congratulations, and Olivia has quietly snuck out, I can only assume, with the guy that she had met earlier. It works in my favor because I’m ready to be done with the night and make my silent exit as well, and this makes it easier for me.
Just as I’m about to close the door behind me, I feel it being pulled open by someone else. I turn to face the person I was about to slam it on, and it’s Evie. “You’re leaving already?”
“Yeah, I’m tired. This was my first big post-existential crisis of character appearance, and it really took it out of me. Congratulations, though, Evie. I’m really, really happy for you.”
“It’s a good thing, right? It’s exciting.”
“Of course it is.”
“Okay, well, text me when you make it home.”
“I will,” I tell her.
On the bus ride home, I think about Evie. I think about her carefree, hippie girl vibe and her won’t-take-no-for-an-answer attitude, and how funny it is that nothing ever changes until one day you wake up and realize it’s all different. I wonder if Garrett knows that for two years, she stopped shaving her body hair, and I wonder what he would do if she decided to revert to that now. I wonder if he knows she dated one of our professors, and that when she broke up with her, she came into work drunk and tried to hold the class hostage until Evie agreed to give her another chance. She ended up losing her job. That one hurt. Evie carried that guilt for a long time.
Then we blinked, and we’re supposed to be these adults, whether we feel like it or not. I bet some of the people at that party tonight had to hire babysitters to be there. It’s a crazy kind of thought.
Once I’m safely inside my new apartment, I text my best friend like I told her I would, slip into an old t-shirt, and collapse on the bed. I make a mental note to get curtains or at least put a blanket up tomorrow since I’m off again. I’m thankful my bar will be closed tomorrow, even though I’ll probably end up there at some point anyway. I’ll be able to put the finishing touches on this place and I will need the extra time to recharge my batteries after this one, anyway. However, I’m glad I went. It was nice to feel normal somewhere other than work. It was a good reminder that it all keeps spinning, whether we are in it or not, so I may as well be in it.
nineteen
We’reinthatslowpart of winter now—the part where there aren’t any big holidays to look forward to, and it’s just cold and endless gray and everyone misses the sun. As a person that exists mostly at night, it usually doesn’t weigh on me, but being out in it now, I can feel it and I can see it on everyone’s faces. It’s exhausting.
It’s been a month since Evie got engaged, and this will be the first time I’ve seen her since it happened. But it’s okay. I’ve been busy. I’ve been quiet. I’ve been doing the work and it’s all starting to come together.
I walk into the restaurant and spot her instantly. She’s in the back corner staring intently at her phone, so she doesn’t even notice me.
“Hey,” I say, sliding into the booth across from her. “Olivia isn’t here yet?”
“Um…no.”
“Are you okay?” I ask her.
“Yeah. Yes,” she says. “I’m just stressed about this work thing. There’s a chance I’ll get to cover this campaign. I’m super excited about it. You know, follow her around the state. I really, really want it. But…Garrett also wants to cover it for his station, too, so it’s kind of been an issue.”
“Oh…weird.”
