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“Yeah, I mean, the odds of both of us ending up on this aren’t like super high or anything, but it’s still been stressful. He feels like just in case, I should default to him because he feels like he’s more likely to end up covering it than me.”
“But you’re not really in the business of conceding to anyone.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yikes.” It’s all I can think of to say.
“Yeah, well, anyway, enough about that annoying shit. You said you have news so—what is it?”
“Yes, so…remember when you said that I should write about the nightmare that my life devolved into a couple of months ago? And that someone would want to read about that?”
“Yes,” she said. “Go on.”
“Well, I did it,” I tell her, “and I finished it.” I reach down and pull a manila envelope from my bag and slide it across the table. “And that’s not even the best part: you were right. Apparently, someone does want to read it. Or at leastSeattle Soundsthinks so. They want to publish it. They are going to publish it, actually, next month.”
“Ruby, oh my god, that’s amazing,” she says. “I’m so proud of you!”
“Yeah, I’m like a whole-ass writer now.”
“You were always a whole-ass writer,” she says with a knowing smile. “I’m happy for you, Ruby. I knew you had it in you.”
“Yeah, so, read it. Tell me what you think. It’s raw. It’s really raw. More so than I’m comfortable with, to be honest.”
“It’s you,” she tells me. “I’m sure it’s perfect.”
It feels like it. At the very least, it’s complete and it’s honest. It’s scary putting something like that out there with my name on it. I was surprised when Cori agreed to be part of it, but she hopes it will help other women. I hope it does, too. I hope it helps me. I can’t help but to still worry about Alex and carry some guilt about how it may affect him. I worry that it may put a spotlight on the trial and the public shame would be my responsibility. Maybe it’s some kind of Stockholm Syndrome. I make a mental note to bring it up at therapy tomorrow.
She put me in touch with another woman that had been through the same thing with Alex. It turned out that I had already met her, but I’d had to reintroduce her to me as myself. Her name was Lana.
“Hey guys,” Olivia says. She’s never late. I forgot that we were supposed to be waiting on her.
“Hey,” I tell her, “I’ll slide over.”
“Oh, no. I can’t stay, actually. I’m sorry—last-minute thing. I just wanted to come in and tell you why, and I think I’d rather do it standing.”
“Ohhhkay…why?” Evie asks, with trepidation. Olivia seems both excited and nervous. I’m at a loss as to what this could be.
“Okay, well, you know that guy that I met at your party, Evie? Michael?”
“Um, yeah. You mean Garrett’s friend, Mikey? Go on…”
“Okay…well, I’m pregnant. And we’ve decided we are just gonna go for it, you know? Like all in. He’s moving in with me…today. And we are heading to Bellevue to tell my mom right now.”
“Wow,” I say.
“Are you serious?” Evie asks, her tone a little sharp.
I realize we probably said the wrong things. We may have had the wrong faces. I try to circle back.
“Um, congratulations, Olivia. Wow. That’s so crazy.” I stand up to hug her. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Me too, Liv,” Evie says. “But wow, I did not see that coming today.”
“Yeah, well, you know. Me either. Life really is crazy. You don’t always get what you need wrapped up in tiny perfect packages at the exact time that you’re ready for it, you know? Sometimes you just have to roll with whatever comes at you.”
“I mean…yeah. Definitely. But what have you done with Olivia?” Evie asks.
“Be happy for me, Evie,” she says.
