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I shake my head. “What do you think? Watch the movie, Devon. Let me eat my nachos.”
He slouches further into his seat and throws his arm around my shoulders. He’s different but the same. He’s still the only person who can touch me like this without making my skin crawl. Even though I stare at the screen for the entire two hours, I don’t think I really watch the movie; I’m too aware of him. I lean in and just feel him there, and that’s enough.
It’s after one when the movie lets out, and it must have been the latest showing of the night because there are only a handful of cars left outside when we silently make our way through the parking lot.
Once inside, Devon puts the keys in the ignition but doesn’t start the car. He sighs and leans back in his seat, staring up at the sunroof.
“Ally, why didn’t you write to me?” he asks. “I know why I never called or wrote to you—because I knew it wouldn’t get to you anyway—but I wanted to. I wanted to see you. My heart was in my throat whenever I’d dig through my piles of hate mail looking for your handwriting, but there was never anything.”
“I was ashamed,” I tell him honestly. “There was nothing I could say that would make it better. I would have told the truth in court, though, Devon. I was going to. I even thought maybe I’d get lucky and they’d put me in jail for lying. It’d be a better place for me.”
“I don’t know about that, Ally,” he says. “Do you want to see something? Look.”
He lifts his shirt and reveals two large, angry scars near his hip.
“I got stabbed a couple of times with what I think was a rusted-off piece of a bedframe. I thought I was going to die. I wasn’t very popular there, to say the least. I spent a lot of time in solitary for my own safety.”
I lean over into his seat and run my fingers over the rutted, jagged lines of skin on his hips.
“Now we’re both carved in scars,” he says. “I won’t be able to forget, either.”
I shake my head and bite back a sob. “And it’s my fault.”
“It’s not,” he says. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have saved me, Ally; I realize that now. That fucking tape was the only thing that was ever going to save me.”
“I’m so sorry, Devon.”
“Come here, pretty girl,” he says. “Don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.”
I climb into his seat, wrap my arms around his neck, and bury my face in his shoulder.
He runs his fingers through my hair, and it reminds me of the first time I was in this car with him—when I laid my head down on the center console and cried while he did the exact same thing because I’d forgotten what it was like to be touched out of kindness.
He leans down and kisses the top of my head. “I really do like your hair like this.”
“Devon…don’t do this again.”
“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”
I nod and watch him lick his lips, then he leans in slowly until his mouth finds mine. I suck in a breath and moan against his mouth before parting my own lips and letting him in. It’s different than when he kissed me in the classroom—when I was drunk and he was angry and kissed me like he hated me. He kisses me like he needs me to breathe, exactly the way I need him, and all the other stuff melts away. I forget about the dark place I’m in and give into this feeling, letting it pull me under and replacing the hopelessness and regret that’s consumed me all this time. The vice that’s constantly squeezing my chest lets up, and I feel alive again. Maybe he is different, butthis…this feels the same.
I drink it all in, telling myself to catalog this feeling, too.Thisis what it’s like to love someone else. Even in the shittiest of circumstances, I’m glad I got to feel it at least once.
I tighten my grip around his neck and move to straddle his lap.
Devon grips my hips in his hands and pushes the leather skirt up to my waist, and grinds his cock into me while he drags his tongueup the length of my throat. The feeling of him hard against my clit through my silk panties already has my breath heaving as I roll my hips over him, and his mouth finds mine again.
“I haven’t been with anyone else,” he says. “Okay?”
“Uh-huh,” I whimper as I roll up and down his cock.
“Fuck, Ally,” he says. He leans the seat back a little, then reaches between us and pulls his pants down over his hips. He moves my panties to the side, then wraps one hand around the base of his cock and guides my hips toward him with the other. I gasp as the head slides over my clit before slotting against my opening, then I sink down onto him.
I groan when he finally fills me, then go back to working my hips over him, chasing the orgasm I’m so close to.
“That’s it,” he says. “Make your pussy come on my dick, baby.”
“It feels so good,” I force out breathlessly as I pick up the pace. “I’m already gonna…oh my god, it feels so good…”
